Thanks for visiting and supporting Pacman Jonesin’ over the years, but we will now be signing off…
Jul1st
Reaching A New Low
Oh Tiger Woods. We all thought you sank to your lowest when on Thanksgiving weekend when you were caught sneaking out of your Florida mansion at 2:30 in the morning, going to meet one of the many women you were having an affair with. When your wife, Elin, beat you with golf club and you claimed those injuries were caused from crashing into a tree at like 10 miles per hour. And when woman, after woman, after woman, after woman, after woman, after woman, after woman…. came forward and said you had an affair with them, and when on national tv you admitted that you did, and that you had affairs with over 120 women including the 21-year old next door neighboor. But no Tiger those were not the lowest points in your life, this is…
Jun30th
So That’s The Secret
I have often wondered what the difference between myself and professional athletes is. Why am I not a professional tennis player right now? I was on the JV tennis team for 3-years, that’s enough, right? I mean, I got the eye of the tiger, you should’ve seen me. I won at least 7 matches in a row at one point. It had to be that I didn’t really want to try. Yeah… that has to be it. If I tried, or if I cared then I would be the one beating Federer yesterday instead of Tsonga. But I feel like not caring wasn’t the only thing keeping me back, theres gotta be some other reason why I’m not playing in Wimbledon right now…
Jun28th
There’s No Need for the Police
Does anything good happen when the police get involved? Does a raging party suddenly improve when the five-O show up on the scene? Does your trip to the store get a lot better now that you have to go 25 mph, because you see a cop in the rearview mirror and a trip which normally takes you 5 minutes, ends up taking 10 and you really want to just speed and see if you can outrun him but you know if you do that you’d go to jail but the temptation is still there, i mean how sweet would it be if you were on tv, running from the cops, that would give you some street cred? But I digress, as you can see by my above examples, when the police get involved bad things happen. This is especially true in sports. What happens on the field should stay on the field and players (in most cases) should not be punished for what they do on the field/rink/diamond.
If you’re lost, what I’m talking about is the recent news that the Montreal Police are investigating whether a hit Stanley Cup winning Boston Bruin Zdeno Chara did on Montreal Canadiens Forward Max Pacioretty warrants a criminal prosecution. The Montreal Police want to talk to Chara before they decide whether or not they will press charges.
RIDICULOUS. It was a bad hit and he hit him in one of the worst spots on the rink where there center glass between the two benches protrudes out, but it was nothing the police need to deal with. Even the guy who got hit had this to say about the situation on twitter ” I hope Chara is NOT prosecuted. I have moved on from my incident and I hope everyone else can do the same.”Hits happen. It’s hockey, deal with it.
So Montreal Police Department don’t prosecute Chara, or else you may get a rash of people starting police chases on 25 mph residential roads. You’ve been fair warned.
Jun28th
Hello Fansided World!
Hello Fansided! My name is Travis Nummer and I’m your new lead editor for the Pacman Jonesin’ all-sports blog. I’m 20-years old, and a Junior at the University of Michigan (GO BLUE!). This is my second blog that I’ve worked for, I currently have another all-sports blog called One Minute Sports that I’ve had since 2007 and blogged off and on. I hadn’t been too involved in the sports blog world since about 2-years ago when I last wrote for One Minute Sports, until this Summer. One of my best friends was looking around various Michigan State sites (yes he belongs to the dark side…) and he came across a site called Spartan Avenue that was looking for a new head writer. So he applied and got the Job. Spartan Avenue, which is a part of Fansided by the way, took off and Alex continues to write for it and enjoy it. So inspired by his recent entrance into the sports blog world, I decided to restart my career as a sports blogger and here I am today.
So about the blog… I will probably do things a little different than the last writer Jeremy Stewart. Jeremy did a great job while writing for Pacman but I have a different style. I want to thank him for laying the foundation of a great site, that I hope to build up and grow. I hope you enjoy reading this site and if you do, TELL YOUR FRIENDS. Anyways, look for my first actual post later today. I unfortunately will not be able to post a lot during the hours of 10-6 because thats when I work but before and after that look for my work. Welcome to the new Pacman Jonesin’!
Image via www.celebritysmackblog.com
My life is winning every second, but who will rise to the top of baseball like a big goddamn F-18 jet plane? Just like in baseball, baseball scores don’t lie baby.
This season I like the Yankees to win the AL East, mostly because I appreciate Derek Jeters ability to never stop winning, baby. Reminds me of a young myself, bringing the goddesses in, using their talents, and swiftly cutting the cord as they leave his beautiful home.
I like anyone but the Tigers to win the AL Central. Sharpen your bayonet and play to win, Miguel Cabrera. YOU DON’T QUIT WHEN THE PLANE IS FLYING, BRO! BLINK AND HEAL YOURSELF!
In the AL Best, I’ll take the Oakland A’s. Billy Beane is a good friend, he was recently over a my very awesome home which has a theater in it. We viewed my performance in Scary Movie 3, then discussed what Anna Faris looks like naked.
Over in the NL East, I’ll take the Nationals. That Bryce Harper kid has got some real fire breathing fists.
The season in the NL Central I like the Reds. Lemme tell you about the time in 1993 I hung out with Rob Dibble…..
(Tells a 30 minute story that involves himself, Dibble, a mail box, a unreleased Tupac LP, Cool Whip, a set of rare Italian steak knives,12 hookers, and a Super Soaker.)
……and Dibs said ”WIN ONE FOR THE GOOD GUYS!!!!!”
Speaking of awesome dudes, in the NL West, I like Brian Wilson and the Giants. This guy wants me to mentor him. I told him, man, all you need in this life is family, money, and f-ck ton of hookers and coke. He turned to me and said ”Ninja, I’m on it already brother”.
I’m a spoiled asshole. I freely admit it and joke about it (Twitter hashtag #whitepeopleproblems). Nothing sucks worse for me than when something I have, that I like , and that I am used to is taken away. I used to watch my sports on an HD TV, now only my PS3 is in HD, this angers me to no end. So maybe it’s my own sense of entitlement that causes me to already hate the impending NFL lockout with such fever and lack of optimism. Football fans like myself have gotten used to the NFL being a 12-month a year news story. I’ve come to define the months by what the NFL is doing. This lockout a direct threat to that. The Combine will still start this Sunday, and the draft in April will go on. But free agency is locked down, which sucks to no end, I need my yearly Dan Snyder over paying. No players can be traded either, which keeps me from experiencing great joy when a franchise sets itself back 5 years by trading for Carson Palmer. The players and owners will go in the media and talk about how they just want a fair deal, that this proposal isn’t fair, or that favors the other side too much, while totally missing the point that we as fans don’t give a crap. Do I care whether Ed Reed can walk or even function as a human being once he’s retired? No, I do not. Whether he’s healthy or dead makes no difference to me, as he becomes useless once he career expires as a Raven. It’s a harsh way to think about it, but it’s true. He’ll be replaced by a new Safety, and will literally just become a ghost of cool interceptions and poorly timed laterals. Play a 21 game season for all I care, it’s more football for me to watch. I’ll say this though, as little as I care about the players problems, I REALLY don’t give a damn about the owners. Nearly every single owner, if he sold his team today, would get somewhere between 2 (newer owners) and 100 (Al Davis) times what he paid for it. If the system is so broke, why do your teams continue increasing in value? No amount of revenue percentage from the players is going to change the fact that it’s better to stay home, watch two to eight games at once, and follow our fantasy teams online than it is to pay hundreds of $ for tix plus parking, 50$ on food/beer at the game, then sit in traffic for an hour trying to get out of the parking lot. That’s just the way fandom has changed, and it’s only going to get worse for the owners.
So this is what NFL fans are faced with, a hallow shell of an off-season highlighted by a bunch of rich guys bitching about more money than you and everyone you know will ever earn, a draft where no one will be traded, the eventual conclusion in August, and a quick free agency period where everyone will probably just sign 1-year deals with their current team. Yawn. Without an off-season to laugh at Redskins fans and pray the Ravens find a corner who isn’t a stiff, it just wont be as fun.
ESPN produces a lot of crap. Some awful things are shoved down our throats by this all encompassing sports giant, be it online content, radio, or TV. Not everything the WWL spits out is bad though. Simmons is good, Chad Ford’s draft stuff is awesome, and their fantasy stuff is the best I’ve seen by far. All of that pales in comparison to the holy grail of time wasters- ESPN.com’s NBA Trade Machine.
The Denver Nuggets can’t possibly be so dumb as to assume they will turn out any better than the Raptors or Cavs if they do not trade Carmelo Anthony before the trade deadline. Anyone with a pair of eyes can watch them play and see a NBA title is not in their future. Whether it be to a team he signs with long-term, or as a hired gun, Melo needs to be moved for the Nuggets to start the long process of breaking down a contender and moving back towards respectability. So here’s 2 potential trades-
Knicks get: Carmelo Anthony, Al Harrington, Chris Anderson, Aaron Afflalo, Wayne Ellington, Sheldon Williams
Nuggets get: Corey Brewer, Wilson Chandler, Kelenna Azubuike, Roger Mason, Andy Rautins, Anthony Tolliver, a future 1st round pick from Minnesota
T-Wolves get: Eddy Currys corpse, Bill Walker, Timofey Mozgov, Anthony Randolph
Why the Knicks do it: To block a potential Lakers move for Melo.
Why the Nuggets do it: While it’s not a perfect trade, they get a legit starting 3 in Chandler, young guys, a draft pick, and cap room.
Why the T-Wolves do it: For a non-lottery pick and Corey Brewer, they get to take a chance on some really talented young guys.
Nuggets get: Monta Ellis, Devin Ebanks, Derrick Caracter, Marvin Williams
Lakers get: Carmelo Anthony, Mo Evans, Louis Amundson
Hawks get: Andrew Bynum, Ron Artest, Al Harrington, Brandon Wright
Warriors get: Josh Smith, Shannon Brown, Zaza Pachulia
Why the Nuggets do it: Ellis and Lawson would be the fastest backcourt in the league, they’d pick up 2 nice prospects, plus Williams is a flippable asset.
Why the Lakers do it: Because Bynum’s body isn’t built to play basketball 82 games a year. Because Ron Artest sucks. Because Kobe can no longer be the man every night.
Why the Hawks do it: To move Al Horford to his natural 4 position.
Why the Warriors do it: Because all they want to do is run teams off the court, and the lineup of Curry-Brown-Wright-Smith-Biedrins can do that.
