The internet & Twitter hiatus continues (48+ hours and counting), but your intrepid lead blogger returns this afternoon to empty his cluttered mind with a stream of consciousness post while eating a turkey on rye.  While traveling during the past couple of days, here is what has been rattling around in my cranium:

The character Abed on Community is an absolute classic.  When we ranked him 65th on the All-time Best TV Characters list it was an injustice.  The guy is brilliant in every episode.  In the above clip he does a nice little parody of Batman.  Which reminds me…

The Dark Night has to be one of the top five overrated movies ever.  It wasn’t horrible, but best movie of the decade? One of the best movies of the year?  Best villain in film history (Heath Ledger’s portrayal of The Joker)?  Please.  What a crock of shit.  Mildly entertaining would be my two word description of both the film and Ledger’s performance.

As far as our Best TV Characters of All-Time list, we’re up to 65 and here are the next ten:

66. Maurice Minnifield

67. Stewie Griffin

68. Jeff Winger

69. Hawkeye Pierce

70. Alan Birch

71. Dr. Jeffrey Geiger

72. Norm Peterson 

73. John Cage

74. Dr. Mark Craig

75. Douglas Wambaugh (by the immortal Fyvush Finkel)

So I’m walking through the airport yesterday and see a guy sitting in a chair getting a $9 shoe shine.  Hardly unusual, right?  Well, this particular guy was getting his tennis shoes shined.  Huh? Is this a common practice?  If so, how come I never knew about it?

I’m going to go out on a limb and proclaim that Osama bin Laden is not in the mountains of Afghanistan anymore.  It’s far more likely that bin Laden is working in some capacity at the San Jose International Airport…probably for one of the rental car companies.  Men of Middle Eastern descent are everywhere.  Al Qaeda sleeper cells being uncovered in the Hertz, Avis and Enterprise offices in San Jose wouldn’t even cause me to raise an eyebrow.  I’m just sayin’… 

Finally, two more prominent people have joined Pacman Jonesin’ Nation:  Ronnie Brewer and Kyrylo Fesenko.  Well, at least Ronnie B is semi-prominent. Fesenko might rise to prominence one day, but for now he’s simply a token gangly white guy.  Come on Randy Breuer…we’re holding a spot for you too!  Just e-mail me at drew@shawnkempskids.com and we’ll send you a  PJ Nation welcome package right away!    

The first two episodes of FX’s new fantasy football show “The League” have been epic.  Taco’s Vaginal Hubris video (NSFWish because of language) is just one of a plethora of highlights from the second episode.

We have no idea if the rest of the season will be as great as the first two episodes, but it got us thinking about possible comparisons.  Here are five things that come to mind:      

5.  Two 450 ft. home runs into the upper deck by Albert Pujols

4.  The Super Bowl catches by David Tyree and Santonio Holmes

3.  Brandon “Young Money” Jennings’ performance in the 3rd and 4th quarters of Friday night’s game against Golden State 

2.  Godfather I and Godfather II 

and the gold standard…

1.  The left and right breasts of Christina Hendricks

Every NBA fan knows that Golden State Warriors head coach Don Nelson is a complete lunatic.   Turmoil and dysfunction abound both on and off the court in the Bay Area.  Recently, Nelson and his star guard, Monta Ellis, had a dispute during practice.  Here is how it went down: 

What Monta said:  “Coach, I really don’t think you playing with everyone’s minutes where no one knows if they’ll play in a given game helps the team.  It creates inconsistency, prevents continuity, and it hasn’t worked for the past several years.  Just my opinion, but there you have it.”

What Nellie heard:  “You are a god.  Every decision you make is the right one because you have more wins and more experience than everyone in the world.  You did it twenty years ago in Milwaukee, and you’re still doing it now.  It’s the honor of a lifetime to play for such a brilliant and handsome coach.”

Current Odds of a Warriors player strangling Nelson:

Stephen Jackson   2:1

Anthony Randolph   6:1

Monta Ellis    10:1

Corey Maggette    15:1

Stephen Curry  100:1 (but he’s dreaming about it)

Snap Takes on a Friday afternoon:

I’m going to see if I can bang this entire post out over a roast beef sandwich during the last fifteen minutes of my lunch hour.  Thanks again to @ricbucher for inspiring this little feature.  OK…here we go with a little stream of consciousness writing…

January Jones is hot.  I think we can all agree, right?  Yesterday I saw a commercial for “Saturday Night Live” and JJ is hosting tomorrow night.  I don’t watch SNL very much these days, but I’ll definitely be recording the show.  Why?  Well, frankly it’s to see if January has anything else to offer other than Betty Draper.  If any comedic ability is displayed then Hollywood will likely have the heir apparent to Cameron Diaz…

My San Diego Chargers can move to 6-3 by beating the Philadelphia Eagles this weekend.  Coming off a big road victory over the Giants, the Bolts need to keep the momentum going.  Truth be told though, I’m terrified of a huge letdown.  The only positive is that as shaky as Norv Turner is on the sidelines, Big Daddy Andy Reid might be even shakier.  Reid’s clock management deficiencies are well chronicled, but his poor play calling and inability to win “the big game” also make him the most overrated coach in the NFL…

“The League” on FX is the flat out funniest show on television…and it’s not even close.  I raved about the show in a Sunday post and will continue to do so on a weekly basis as there is nothing else like it.  It’s so good that two characters, Ruxin and Taco, have already cracked my Top 100 of all-time.  After listing the top 60 I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus, but here are #61-65:   61) Taco  62) Ruxin 63) Andy Bernard 64) Byron “Buster” Bluth 65) Abed from “Community”…

Sinister Spin:  Sean…oh no you didn’t.  How do you spell b-u-s-t-e-d?

The NBA season is only a couple weeks old, but two teams have certainly raised a few eyebrows:  

Phoenix Suns – Channing Frye gives the Suns a new dimension and Steve Nash has returned to MVP form.  The Suns have been the surprise team of the Western Conference so far minus the Big Cactus.

Miami Heat  – One of the big surprises of the season to date.  Dwyane Wade picked up where he left off last year, but he’ll need some help pretty soon or the Heat will cool off faster than you can say “Eric Spoelstra looks like he should be coaching a high school junior varsity team.”

Check out the Eastern & Western Conference rankings for all thirty NBA teams at Sir Charles In Charge

Everything you wanted to know about the Orlando Magic and more   Howard The Dunk 

Ever wanted to try LSD?  This video is worth 4 1/2 minutes of your time    NESWblogs

Larry King and sex tape normally isn’t a very good combination, but here is an exception     Everything Power Rankings

Brandon Jennings a.k.a Young Money is turning heads in Milwaukee    Josh Q. Public

Inside an Incompetent Owners Anonymous meeting   Suicide Drills

Flame broiled meat between your buns…classic.    Global Sports Fraternity via Gunaxin

A rock solid post about blogging and business  Alana G  

The NFL really is the No Fun League        Yahoo Sports

Your intrepid lead blogger’s ex-wife, Brooklyn Decker, has graciously agreed to stop by and host this week’s edition of Hitting the Links.   Brooklyn and I are still on good terms so she should be back from time to time.  Here we go…

The 10 most misunderstood professional athletes for one reason or another   Suicide Drills

Despite LT’s troubles, my Chargers are now 5-3.  Check out the always entertaining Fantasy Football Fiasco   Chronicles Of Scott 

San Diego high school basketball phenom Jeremy Tyler is having a few problems in Israel   N.Y. Times via Basketball Fiend

Glenn Beck, Larry Johnson, Al Gore & more ranked every day in a hilarious way   Everything Power Rankings 

Since you made it this far, here is a little treat for you.  Susan Sarandon’s daughter Eva Amurri is co-starring in “Californication” this season and the apple certainly hasn’t fallen far from the tree

Holy shit.  The new FX show “The League” is unfuckinbelievable (I just checked Dictionary.com and confirmed this is indeed a word).  If you like raunchy comedy and fantasy football then you should not miss this show under any circumstances.

Nick Kroll caught my eye in a humorous Funny Or Die video called Rich Dicks a couple months ago and his character, Ruxin, is one of a half dozen standout performances. 

Although Kroll is phenomenal, Jon Lajoie’s character, Taco, might have  been even better in the first episode.  Click here to see and hear Taco’s epic birthday song.  In fact, this song is so hilarious that the word ‘epic’ might not even be strong enough.

On a scale of 1-10, ”The League” is a perfect 10 and should be mandatory viewing for every sports fan.  Watch this show.  Trust me, you will not be disappointed.

Faux Twitter Tweet of the Day

Brady & Sanchez do pretty well but nobody in the NFL gets more bootylicious tail than Big Daddy Andy!

Andy Reid        November 6th

Bonus Tweets from Andy Reid

There is nothing better than coming from behind…and not just to win a football game. 

My biggest inspiration in life is Sir Mix-A-lot.  Baby Got Back is the best song and video ever.

When I deliver the money shot I always yell Jelly Donuts!  Is that TMI?

Hitting the Links

Although he isn’t writing as many columns these days, we are still fans of Bill Simmons.  Well, at least when he isn’t referencing Teen Wolf, Karate Kid, Beverly Hills 90210 and the Real World/Road Rules Challenge.  

While Simmons seems to be as popular as ever right now, even the most fervent Sports Guy supporters have to admit that he has lost a good 6-8 mph on his fastball.  Perhaps he’s spread too thin because of everything he has been doing lately other than writing columns.  Maybe he’s simply burned out.  Whatever the case, it’s quite clear that Bill has a big bulls-eye on his back. 

In fact, Simmons is such an easy target  (and rightly so in most cases) that picking apart his columns is like shooting fish in a barrel wolves from a helicopter.  That said, I particularly enjoyed this FJM style critique by Drew Magary.  Kissing Suzy Kolber

Shaq thinks Gilbert Arenas has a pretty good idea how his ass tastes   Sir Charles In Charge

I could watch clips of Office Space every day and never get bored  The Chronicles Of Scott

Check out the latest and greatest with the Florida Panthers  The Rat Trick

A look back at Brett Favre’s return to Lambeau   The Viking Age

Do the Orlando Magic even need Rashard Lewis?   Howard The Dunk 

Why it’s better to be a Broncos fan than a Steelers fan  Predominantly Orange