(Friday Flicks is a weekly feature in which I ask: What if NFL stars or other athletes starred in this week’s biggest release or in past classics? Plus, I’ll let you know what you should see, and what you should avoid like Ron Mexico’s sloppy seconds.)

Bruce Willis (actor)/John McClane (fictional badass protagonist) – He’s lost almost all of his hair, and pundits say he’s past his prime. Bruce just couldn’t let go of his favorite role, though, after the way the third installment of the Die Hard franchise flopped — critically ( a piss-poor 47% culmative critic’s score over on Rotten Tomatoes) and even somewhat commercially. He’s a tough guy and a winner, and he’s hellbent on this franchise finishing on a high note. It’s damn hard to not like a guy like that.

Live Free or Die Hard, the latest and fourth Die Hard flick, is doing well thus far box office-wise (already $16 M after a Wednesday opening) after receiving solid reviews (77% on Rotten Tomatoes). Even ballbusting film critic Peter Travers liked the film. Who knows, maybe Travers is to Willis what John Madden is to Favre?

One negative note — Live Free or Die Hard is rated PG-13. Has big, bad Bruce suddenly caught a case of pussitis? Or are he and the studioheads just trying to reach a broader demographic?

Brett Favre (Green Bay Packers QB/real-life badass) -He’s lost hair, and pundits say he’s past his prime. Brett just couldn’t let go of his favorite role, though, after the way the latest installment his franchise flopped — his Pack narrowly missed the playoffs in the weak NFC. Like Willis, he’s a tough guy and a winner, and he is also hellbent on his franchise finishing on a high note. Again, it’s damn hard to not like a guy like that.

It’s hard to say if Favre’s Packers will be any better than the team’s 8-8 record one year ago, and have success similar to what Willis and his franchise are currently enjoying. Favre will likely break two of Dan Marino’s records, though. And Madden, like Travers did with Willis, will give Favre glowing reviews no matter what.

One negative note — the way he’s unloaded the ball prematurely and been picked time and time again the last few seasons, is he suddenly afraid of getting hit? Has big, bad Brett suddenly caught a case of pussitis? Yeah, I know, it’s gotta be a lot tougher without the pills and your old offensive line.

On a more serious note, I respect both Favre and Willis immensely. Both love what they do, and nobody, and I mean nobody, will tell them that it’s time to retire. Mad respeck!

What to see this weekend:

• Live Free or Die Hard – I never thought I’d do this, but I’m recommending it. Both the reviews and the word of mouth has been surprisingly good. And there’s only one way to see a Summer popcorn flick like this — on the big screen
• 1408 – Good horror movies are sort of like shutdown NFL cornerbacks — rare. John Cusack. Sam Jackson. Stephen King. What’s not to like? I haven’t seen it, but both the premise and the trailer remind me of The Twilight Zone. Plus, the reviews have been pretty favorable.

What to avoid like Ron Mexico’s sloppy seconds:

• Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer – If you want to see Jessica Alba just Google her for fuck’s sake.

• Evan Almighty – If you want to see Steve Carrell, rent Anchorman or The Office or something. Don’t do this to yourself. You don’t deserve it.

What to rent if you want to have some tail over to the crib (or some man-meat, I guess, just to be P.C.):

I would say Pan’s Labyrinth, but that won’t help you seal the deal. Instead, I’ll go with…

• Owning Mahowny (old) – Philip Seymour Hoffman owns in this movie about an unlikely con-man/compulsive gambler. Plus, it’s not that long (hopefully, she won’t feel that way about you).
• Black Snake Moan (new) – This will help you seal the deal. Hell, it might even teach you a few new tricks. And there’s nothing wrong with a little Ricci. She’s destined to be a future weird-obsession girl. Trust me.

Enjoy your weekend!