I’m not much of a pro wrestling fan now, but growing up I was fanatical about the WWF and WCW/NWA.
I remember when Hulk Hogan bodyslammed Andre the Giant (Bill Simmons’ favorite moment out of the history of everything.) I remember pretending to be either “Rowdy” Roddy Piper or The Ultimate Warrior and bullying the other kids in my neighborhood. I remember seeing The Nature Boy and Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat fight for an hour plus without even breaking a sweat (”wooooooo!”). I remember running around screaming, “oooohhhhh yeaaahhhhh!” I remember The Stinger Splash, The Toture Rack, The Sharpshooter and The Shake, Rattle and Roll. I remember Damion, the hedgeclipper haircuts and hundred dollar bills being stuffed into unconscious wrestler’s mouths. I remember tag teams like Demolition, The Freebirds, The Hart Foundation and The Legion of Doom/Road Warriors. I remember Bobby “The Brain” Heenan (who I would do anything to get an interview with), Jimmy Hart, Mr. Fuji, Paul E. Dangerously and Slick. I remember War Games. Hell, I even remember the AWA and USWA.
I remember wrestling before the messed-up Benoit/Guerrero/Miss Elizabeth era (I guess the messed-up Von Erich era preceded that one, though). I loved pro wrestling growing up. Now, I’m a little too old and the sport has grown a little too ridiculous (or maybe too McMahonish). Deep down, though, I’ve still got nothing but love for pro wrestling.
That’s why I was thrilled today when I heard that The Namesake of this site, the one and only Pacman Jones, was officially joining the Total Nonstop Action Wrestling league. In the last few hours, it’s leaked that he won’t be wrestling or even a heel/villain manager/personality, and that kind of bums me out. Still, anything Pac pretty much gets me hyped, let alone his involvement with something as ridiculous as pro wrestling. Apparently, fellow Tennessean and TNA star Jeff Jarrett helped put the deal together. The Titans — felling that this will be both good pub and something to keep Pacman out of trouble — are reportedly totally on board.
This got me thinking about the history of star athletes turned grapplers. In the past, Dennis Rodman, Karl Malone, Lawrence Taylor and Mike Tyson, among others, have all gotten involved with America’s favorite form of “sports entertainment.” That being said, which current NFLers would make the best wrestlers? Here’s my list of current NFL players who should don the boots and tights and up the steroid intake…
The List:
- Joey Porter - The very first NFL player that popped in my mind when I came up with the idea for this list. Not only does he have the athleticism, intensity and physique, but also the gift of gab that all the great wrestler’s possess. If he could keep his cool once inside the squared circle, he very possibly could be the best would-be wrestler on this list. A meaner, cutter Junkyard Dog.
Face (good) or Heel (bad)? Heel
- Chad Johnson - While not as big as Porter, or as menacing, Ocho Cinco certainly has him beat in both the charisma and smack-talking departments. He would probably be the best pro wrestling interview since Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was just The Rock. Johnson also has gimmicks galore, and is pretty ripped despite admittedly having a hard-on for Mickey D’s.
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