Sorry for the delay. Most days, blogging takes precedence over booze, but good ol’ Uncle Sam’s birthday is not one of those days. Unfortunately for you, now I have to get weird… really weird…

I have a thing for Joan Allen, a women nearly twice as old as I am. I wish I could say that I didn’t, but I’d be a lying if I said I’d turn down the opportunity to star alongside Miss Pamela Landy in The Porn Supremecy (made solely for our own personal collections and not for Internet distribution, of course). I don’t know if it was Face/Off, or Pleasantville or The Crucible or… I have no clue what it was that did it to me, but somewhere along the line I just decided that I would make Joan moan. I’ll be the first to admit that she’s both a little too old and skinny, but that doesn’t deter me. She just has that unexplainable freakability that I so covet.

I cannot lie — Joan Allen does it to me.

(here’s hoping that I didn’t just scare away half of my readership)