I don’t watch HBO’s Big Love, and I didn’t even really watch The Sopranos. The only HBO shows I’ve gotten into have been Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage and Six Feet Under. I’m aware that there is a show called Big Love, however, and that it centers around a polygamous family living in Utah. I’m aware that the series stars Bill Paxton, Chloë Sevigny, Ginnifer Goodwin and Jeanne Tripplehorn. I’m also aware that all of those three actresses are pretty damn hot when they’re not on the show.

Chloë Sevigny - Even though you might second guess her based on her movie roles — she was a lesbian in Boys Don’t Cry (with the Swankster, no less), had HIV in Kids and gave Vincent Gallo a real, uncensored hummer in The Brown Bunny — she’s a fox. She might not always look that great on screen — American Pyscho, Gummo, etc… — but in real life she’s hot. Hey, Charlize Theron looked like dogshit in Monster, right? Charlize never looks like dogshit (and Dane Cook will always be a loser). Ever seen Broken Flowers? No? You’re helpless. Just check out the above image and admit that you’d give her some Big Love without any deliberation.

Ginnifer Goodwin - Yes, she was the chubby girl who got played in Mona Lisa Smile. And, yes, I’m pathetic for having even watched Mona Lisa Smile. Forget all that — she’s smokin’ now. Did you see Walk the Line? Sure, she was hot in that, but she’s even more sexy now. She’s shed all the baby fat and is now looking like a cross between Carla Gugino and Katie Holmes. While you might rather do some Sin City sinnin’ with Carla or do what Tom won’t with Katie (hetero sex), you’d definitely still do anything you could to bed Miss Ginnifer. Don’t even lie.

Jeanne Tripplehorn - The ex-future Mrs. Focker is getting older, but at one point and time she was a hotter, less-talented Rene Russo. She’s been in two scenes racy enough to give any ED-free man wood: The above makeout scene from Timecode with Salma Hayek; and the scene from Basic Instinct where Michael Douglas shows her who’s boss. Douglas showed more than that — he showed teenage boys everywhere that it’s OK to bend chicks over couches and let ‘em have it. I think we’d all still like to do just that and get up in Jeanne’s personal Waterworld. With her consent of course. This isn’t Kazakhstan.