Is if you’re playing Madden (and probably Madden 07 at that). Enjoy both The Digital Namesake and that kid’s valley-girlish giggle at the end of the clip.

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I remember Christina Ricci in the Addams Family flicks and Monster, along with some other movies where she wasn’t hot at all. Looking bad was part of her role for Monster, however, and she was just plain young in those other films. Ever heard of the ugly duckling who grew up to be a hottie? No? Then look up and take another gander at those pictures. Ricci went from not to fucking hot. She’s even dating an Adam (Adam Goldberg from Entourage and Dazed and Confused, you know — “I wanna dance!”). It’s not me, but I’m getting closer.

There is just something about this girl, fellas. In fact, I’m scared to even watch Black Snake Moan out of the fear that I’ll sustain severe hand/wrist/forearm injuries and end up on the IR. To hell with it, I’m going to Blockbuster. It just might be worth it.

Christina Ricci, I never thought I’d say this, but that ass is on fiya!

(It’s really ironic that Franz Ferdinand’s “You Could Have Been So Much Better” just randomly started playing when I started typing out this post. I have a feeling that’s what we’ll say about Michael Vick when his career is said and done.)

• Get your Free Ookie garb now! - Kissing Suzy Kolber
• A legal analysis of Mike Vick’s indictment/situation. - Rumors and Rants
• O.J. Simpson can save Ron Mexico? - Flyers Fieldhouse (via The Big Lead)
• Is it in everyone’s best interest for Vick to just sit the year out? - Falcon Reporter (via The Falcoholic)
• Does New No. 7 have some rats in his crew? He better hope not. And D. McNabb, you better watch your back. - Nation of Islam Sportsblog

I don’t have much of an opinion on this. Well, except that Vick, like many other NFLers these days, has screwed himself over by keeping bad company and making shitty decisions. Sometimes it seems like these guys think they can get away with anything they want, when it’s often the opposite — they are typically held to higher standards than everyday Joes.

The saddest part of this all — well, other than all of the departed and injured mutts — is that we’re all going to end up feeling robbed. I really think this might ruin Vick’s career and make him this millennium’s Bo Jackson. The difference is that I’m sure Bo knows that the way his career ended wasn’t his fault. Ookie won’t have that luxury if this is indeed the end of the road.

Poor Atlanta Falcons. Part of me roots for a team like that, because I love dedicated owners like Arthur Blank. When it comes to the sports world, the only thing I like less than frugal owners are piss-sullied restroom floors at the stadium.

• Daunte Culpepper and the Falcons? Beggars can’t be choosers, right? - Nyjer Please
• John Clayton thinks that Daundhi could end up in Baltimore, Jacksonville or The Lou. - ESPN
• The NFL Czar suggests Chi-town, Dallas, Green Bay and Oakland, along with the previously mentioned potential destinations. - Fox Sports
• No teams were interested in trading for C-Pepp? Really? At that price? With that wheel? Really? - Miami Herald
• Damn, it’s fun to ridicule him for playing Rosenhaus. - The Blog of Hilarity
• Are even the ‘Skins interested? Damn, I’ll have mentioned all 32 teams by the time this post is finished. - East Coast Bias
• Kige Ramsey kicks 33 seconds of Daunte knowledge. Say what you will, but the guy has the brevity thing mastered. - YouTube

What do I make of all of this? I think Jacksonville is the last place Culpepper wants to end up. The Jaguars already have three capable QBs — Byron Leftwich, David Garrard and Quinn Gray. Why would the Jags even want C-Pepp? The St. Louis suggestion is a joke as well. The Rams already have a great — yes, I said great — QB in Marc Bulger. Chicago has too much money already invested in its QBs. Oakland? Al Davis’ crew has a younger version minus the baggage. New England? Yeah, The Hoodie and Scott Pioli are going to sign off on that.

Atlanta, Baltimore, Dallas and Green Bay are the best bets. Personally, I like the Green Bay option the best. Culpepper could sit out another year and let his knee mend, and then come in and play in a division he knows extremely well. Then again, the shoes of Brett Favre’s won’t be easy ones to fill. Why isn’t anyone mentioning the Buffalo Bills as a possibility? I’m not sold at all on the J.P. Losman-Trent Edwards duo. Maybe the front office is, but I’m certainly not.

Now, Daunte Culpepper is one funny ass dude already. I mean, not only does the guy think he’s Bob Sugar, but he also actually thinks he’s going to be a starting QB in the NFL CFL AFL this upcoming season. Even funnier — he thinks he’s going to be a good starting QB. Funniest of all — C-Pepp was so pumped up about his “victory” over the Miami Dolphins and subsequent release, that he summoned Gandhi:

“First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win,”

Seriously? Who are you now? Daundhi? What’s next?

Well, I got to thinking and…

• Willis McGahee kicking a little Mother Teresa (although I’m not quite sure he understands what she meant):

“Spread love everywhere you go.”

• A.I. dishing up a little Winston Churchill:

“They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.”

• Jared Allen regurgitating August Busch IV’s strong stance on drinking and driving:

“Be responsible.”

• Barry Bonds drawing upon an old proverb:
  

“Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill”

• T.O. quoting the immortal words of Homer J. Simpson:

“To be loved, you have to be nice to people, everyday. To be hated, you don’t have to do squat.”

Ron Mexico/Ookie doing his best Mark Twain rendition:

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

• And, because you are here, Pacman Jones getting all Seneca the Philosopher on us:

“He who profits by a crime commits it.”

I just love it when pro athletes get all sophisticated and shit.