The First Annual Pacman Jonesin’

All-Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake

Fantasy Sleepers Team

With “The Namesake” Pacman Jones making his pro wrestling debut tonight, I figured who better to name this team of fantasy football sleepers after then the master of the sleeperhold — Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. I’m not going to lie, The Ultimate Warrior was my favorite wrestler back in the day. Beefcake, however, was my brother’s favorite wrestler, and was definitely in my top five along with Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Lex Lugar and Sting. I guess that The Road Warriors/Legion of Doom were pretty high up that list as well.

Anyway, here is the 2007 All-Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake Fantasy Sleepers Team:

QB Jon Kitna, Detroit Lions - Kitna probably won’t go before the seventh or eighth round in many fantasy drafts outside of Rock City, but that doesn’t mean he won’t end up in the top five in his position. Quite frankly, I’m scared of what the Calvin Johnson-Mike Furrey-Roy Williams trio is going to do to defenses. Additionally, Kevin Jones and Tatum Bell aren’t all that, and the Lions face the toughest cumulative rush defense in the NFL next season. Offensive coordinator Mike Martz might call more passing plays this year than ever before, and that bodes well for Kitna. He’s not going to put up the 50 TDs he promised, but he’ll definitely get half way there, maybe even further.

RB Fred Taylor, Jacksonville Jaguars - This might sound crazy considering the success Maurice Jones-Drew enjoyed last season and Taylor’s injury history, but Taylor could be in store for another fine season. He still had six TDs and around 1,400 yards last season despite battling both injuries and MJD for playing time last year. This year, the Jaguars face the easiest cumulative rush defense in the league. Jags head coach Jack Del Rio Shooter McGavin really likes to run the ball, and with his QBs you can’t blame him. Not only will Taylor run the ball, but I expect him to match last year’s numbers. Considering that most fantasy experts expect Taylor to go no earlier than round five, he could be fantasy gold. Just cross your fingers that he can stay healthy.

RB Jerious Norwood, Atlanta Falcons - This one’s simple. First off, Warrick Dunn is coming off surgery. Second, without Ookie around, Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino will want to run the ball often. Norwood has decent size, good hands and blazing speed. If Dunn isn’t healthy, then Norwood could end up being the steal of the draft. Drafting Norwood in rou five or six could win you a fantasy ’ship. To me, drafting Norwood is worth the risk, even if the move flops.

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• ESPN has a great new video of Dana Jacobson interviewing Pacman Jones and TNA co-founder and wrestler Jeff Jarrett. The Namesake uses the term “scrippa” and lets us know that he’s “only been arrested twice.” Not only is he going to actually wrestle (fuck yeah!), but he says he’s good. One thing he’s not good at — counting. No way has he only been arrested twice. There’s also no way that he went to a strip club just to eat. C’mon, Pac. - ESPN

• MJD’s “The Debriefing” looks at the ways TNA can maximize Pacman’s wrestling potential. My POV: give this guy the mic as much as possible — he’s the most ridiculous interview since The Ultimate Warrior. - The Fanhouse

• Believe it or not, Pacman is most likely not connected to dog fighting in any way. Maybe the guy just digs pit bulls? - Kissing Suzy Kolber

• Apparently, Pacman also said that he isn’t really going back to school in the extended cut of the ESPN/Jacobson interview. Good for him — pro wrestling trumps hitting the books. - The Fanhouse

• Is Pac’s wrestling gig a set-up job? Maybe, but I honestly don’t think the wrestling world cares all that much about Tom Urbanski. It’s too bad that he got paralyzed, of course, but the guy was a jobber back in the day. - Winning the Turnover Battle

• Check out this TNA Today YouTube footage, in which TNA guys Don West and Jeremy Borash gush about Pacman’s arrival into the wrestling world. “He’s a lightening rod!”

That’s all for now. I will definitely keep everybody posted on what goes down when Pacman debuts later tonight on TNA’s iMPACT!.

• The Pittsburgh Steelers have named the team’s new mascot Steely McBeam. If that doesn’t sound like the name of a Pittsburgh steelworker character in a gay porno flick, then I don’t know what does. - 100% Injury Rate

• “Stephon Heyer might be the most important person in Washington who doesn’t know the nuclear launch codes.” I did not know that. - Riggo’s Rag

• Antonio Pierce lets Rich know that his “Redskins suck.” I enjoyed that. Was it good for you? - YouTube via Hogs Haven

• I’m not even going to try and make sense out of Matt Mosley’s latest power rankings, but my biggest gripes are the Broncos at five, the Titans at 16 and the Chiefs at 25. - ESPN Hashmarks

• Die-hard Kansas City Chiefs fan Paul Rudd — also known as Brian Fantana and the DV Colonoscopy Guy — is narrating the HBO/NFL Films production Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Kansas City Chiefs. Gotta love it! - Arrowhead Addict

• Matching the ‘07 San Diego Chargers and Denver Broncos up in an epic, yet totally imaginary, PGA-style duel. - Bolt Beat

• An ‘07 preview of those wacky New York J-E-T-S. Apparently, an 8-8 overall record and lots of Sesame Street are what’s on tap. - Epic Carnival (The Feed)

• OK, Colt Fans, “Peyton Manning” is two words, not one. “Cut That Meat” is three words, by the way. Just trying to help you out here. - Naptown’s Finest