OK, so I’ve had a thing for Bridget Moynahan for some time. I like tall girls, I like brunettes, I like actresses (broads are usually crazy, and, I’m not gonna lie, I kinda dig that). Bridget is 5-foot-9, definitely brunette and close enough to being an actress (I didn’t say they had to be Faye Dunaway). Then she ruined it all by getting knocked up by Tom Brady. Well, now that Mr. Brady is kickin’ with Gisele, Miss Moynahan is back on the market. Pretty soon she’ll be smoking hot again following the birth of her son, and I have to give her mad props for giving Tom and her son the initials J.E.T. (Jonathan Edward Thomas… Moynahan!). That’s the way to stick it to your ex-Patriot!

Anyway, all I’m saying is that i’m back aboard the Bridget bus — she can choke me with that chain any day.

(daps: Phin Phanatic)