Archive for November, 2008

30 Nov

Week 13 Headlines

Niners Top Buffalo, Win Ancient Chris Berman Schtick Bowl (P.S. Chris – Huey Lewis Sucks and Popping Aspirin is for 7th Graders)
Browns Send Message to Embattled Crennell:  Don’t Let the Screendoor Hit Ya
Chad Johnson Returns, Bengals Score Single Field Goal
Rodgers Possessed by Ghost of Favre, Loses Game on 4th Quarter Pick
Giants Shoot Redskins, Stash Gun [...]

30 Nov

One Gun. One Leg. One Big Mess for the Champs.

The defending champion Giants received an early Christmas present this year – a huge flaming kerfuffle wrapped up in fancy paper – none of that drugstore crap – with a shiny red ribbon, delivered down their chimney by Bad Santa himself, Plaxico Burress.  I’m sure you already know the details (unless you were still passed [...]

30 Nov

Ocho Cinco en Disfraz

I knew a lot of things about Chad Johnson.  I knew he was very creative.  I knew he had a pretty good right hook for a wide receiver.  I knew he liked to rock the gold grill like he was Flava Flav.  I knew he thought Cincinnati was a hell on earth.  What I didn’t [...]

26 Nov

Brian Urlacher. Gender Confusion. Christmas Just Came Early…

The question of the day:  Is Brian Urlacher purposely trying to give his 3-year-old son Kennedy a bad case of gender confusion?  Yes, that’s the sort of sentence that requires explanation.  Okay…so Brian is currently embroiled in a legal battle with Kennedy’s mom Tyna Robertson, who claimed in a legal filing that Brian painted the [...]

25 Nov

Week 12 Power Rankings – Giants Supporters Vindicated

The people who power-ranked the Giants above the Titans have now been vindicated.  And what’s with all this strife in Tennessee now?  LenDale White acting like a little punk because he isn’t getting the ball?  Who does he think he is, Terrell Owens?   I thought Vince Young was the only headcase on that team.  Guess [...]

25 Nov

Packers Sport Head-Bruise the Shape of Drew Brees’s Foot

The Packers‘ pass defense went into their Monday nighter against the Saints with a reputation as the most bad-ass in the league.  Drew Brees and his birthmark scoffed at said reputation and proceeded to complete 20 of 26 passes for 323 yards and 4 TDs (most of it was Drew).  It was the worst ass-kicking [...]

23 Nov

Week 12 Headlines

Chiefs Offense Explodes for 31.  Defense Just Plain Explodes.
Another Blow For Gay Rights:  Brady Quinn Benched.
Pats Shove Giant, Bitter-Tasting 48-Point Plug Into Joey Porter’s Yap.
Eagles Save McNabb Further Embarrassment, Avoid Tie by 29 Points.
Fat Andy Gut-Bounces McNabb to Bench.
Cowboys Pull Down Niners’ Trousers, Play Wipeout on Their Ass-Cheeks.
Lions Win First Quarter 17-0, Lose Next Three [...]

23 Nov

Joey Porter is Slow on the Uptake

The trials and tribulations of Michael Vick made their way back into the national consciousness again this week, when Vick was transported from his home in Leavenworth to Virginia to face more charges related to his dog fighting escapades.  How lovely for us and our consciousness.  Of course everyone in the NFL knows by now [...]

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