Sapp vs. Keyshawn – Who’s the Real Bitch?
Professional TV dancer Warren Sapp has made it known that he doesn’t care for former football teammate Keyshawn Johnson – and really doesn’t care for the idea of Keyshawn hosting his own interior design show on A&E (which does not stand for “Assholes and Eejits,” no matter what you’ve heard). Sapp vented his disdain for all things Key on Inside the NFL (now on Showtime aka The One You Don’t Have), in his “Ask Warren Anything” segment, saying (via Adam Schefter’s NFL.com blog):
Me, watch Keyshawn on an interior decorating show? Keyshawn, I knew you were a bitch. And thanks for making it all clear.
Contrary to reports, Sapp was not wearing a tutu at the time of the above statement. He may have been wearing ballet slippers though. Big man likes to talk – I’m down with that, but someone needs to ’splain irony to him. Like, there’s a certain irony in a man who dances on TV questioning another dude’s manhood. Yes Warren, that leotard really sets off your eyes. And it’s way-cool that you’re now buds with Lance Bass. It’s nice to see you out there doing things – so many retired football players just go away and spend their money. But not you. You’re colorful and quotable, and those TV people just love sticking you in front of a camera. Once they’ve pulled it back far enough to get your entire girth in the shot.
Of course, Warren was not satisfied with hitting Keyshawn only once – he believes in throwing combinations. Here’s a training camp story Sapp recounted during an appearance on a radio show in Miami (via PFT):
Me and [linebacker Derrick] Brooks walked across the field and Chris Simms was there. He’s a big left-handed kid — Christopher as his father tells me he named him, Christopher Simms — and he throws the ball to Keyshawn on an out-route. Me and Brooks was right there in front of Keyshawn and he drops the ball and looks back at the kid and says, “Your ball spins funny.” I looked at Brooks and I said, “I will never say another word to this man. He don’t know what ‘my bad’ is Brooks. It’s always someone else’s fault.”
Brooks said, “Wow.” So that’s why I said what I said. Enough is enough. You want to get on a damn show or do something crazy, yeah, but interior decorating? I mean come on. Let’s be men about this.
Yeah – outrageous for Keyshawn to criticize Chris Simms, who is clearly on his way to the Hall of Fame. Sapp thinks he knows everything about everything – defense, offense, prancing around like a queen on television. Does he have any advice for Barack Obama on fixing the financial situation? Keyshawn needs to hit back at this guy – you know, put him in his place. Bitch-slap him, as it were. Tell some juicy stories about Sapp in the locker room practicing his pirouettes. I bet guys were careful not to drop their soap in the showers when Sapp was around.
