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19 Nov
Power Rankings - Week 11
Posted by: danzinski
Who is #1 in this week’s Pacman Jonesin’ official power rankings? Who is #32? I think you can guess #32. #1 might be tougher - but not a lot tougher. The rankings after the jump…
| # | Team | Comment | |
| 1 |  |
New York Giants | Just ran over a pretty good Baltimore team - and I mean ran. Their defense misses Michael Strahan like their offense has missed Jeremy Shockey. My only worry is that they’re peaking too soon. They need to think about baseball. Or maybe Roseanne. |
| 2 |  |
Tennessee Titans | A phrase Vince Young should get used to: “Will that be paper or plastic?” Kerry Collins is getting MVP consideration. Freaking Kerry Collins. Just being emotionally stable is now apparently the #1 qualification for NFL quarterbacks. Who cares if they can run or throw? Can they watch that Kay Jewelers commercial with the deaf chick without getting weepy? |
| 3 |  |
New York Jets | Yes, I know - it’s not just Brett Favre; it’s all the other off-season additions too. They’re a running team. It’s Mangini. It’s the spirit of Joe Namath coursing through their veins. Screw all that - it’s Favre. |
| 4 |  |
Carolina Panthers | How can they be leading the NFC South? They didn’t even finish in last place last year. Steve Smith isn’t even their #1 offensive weapon anymore - it’s DeAngelo Williams (no apostrophe - got it). Jake Delhomme kinda sucks this year and they’re still winning. |
| 5 |  |
Pittsburgh Steelers | All the degenerate gamblers and wanking fantasy football nuts are mad because that touchdown didn’t count when it should’ve counted. But how come no one’s ripping Troy Polamalu for the no-class move of running it in when the game was over? Take a knee Troy. You won. And cut your hair. You look like a girl. |
| 6 |  |
Indianapolis Colts | The Colts are back. No wait…they’re not. Yes they are. No wait…it was only the Texans. They’re still good enough for 4th best in the AFC. Any team with Peyton Manning is dangerous. |
| 7 |  |
New England Patriots | I guess Matt Cassel is for real - he threw for 400 yards. Wait though: So did Brian Griese once. So did Chris Weinke. Matt Leinart. Joey Harrington. Tim Rattay. Elvis Grbak. Billy Volek did it twice. Kelly Holcomb did it in the playoffs. I think we get the picture. |
| 8 |  |
Dallas Cowboys | Just a hunch, but I think once Tony Romo gets back in the swing, and this offense really gets clicking with both Roy Williams and Terrell Owens…it’s going to be scary. Scary-good I mean. Not scary like it has been the last few games. Of course, I will be poised on the edge of the bandwagon ready to jump off at the first sign of trouble. Talent is great…but chemistry matters too. |
| 9 |  |
Arizona Cardinals | It could all still be a mirage of course - they have three terrible teams in their division to pound the crap out of and pad their record. They’re not Super Bowl contenders, even with Kurt Warner playing like it’s 2001. Sorry, but I’m in denial. The Cardinals? Really? |
| 10 |  |
Baltimore Ravens | How does a team with Joe Flacco at quarterback manage to be in playoff contention? They have a really good defense. Except when they play the Giants. But what the hell - the Giants kill everyone now. This is one team I could see really dropping off the map the last few weeks though. Wouldn’t shock me if they finished 8-8. |
| 11 |  |
Washington Redskins | Jim Zorn woke up some of the echoes. Unfortunately, the Redskins find themselves in a meat-grinder of a division. 10-6 might not even be good enough for second. I peer into my crystal ball and see…a wild card, maybe. It’s not a very good crystal ball, okay?. Got it at Wal-Mart on special. |
| 12 |  |
Miami Dolphins | Wildcat. It’s not just a gimmick - it’s good for 6-4 and tied with the Patriots. Chad Pennington may not be Brett Favre but he’s good enough to be within a game of Favre. Could this team honestly go from one win to the playoffs? Bill Parcells - thou art a genius. |
| 13 |  |
Green Bay Packers | The Packers should really be better than they are. No one can pass on them, and Aaron Rodgers is clearly the best QB in the division (not saying much I guess). Something always happens to these guys though. Penalties. Can’t stop the run. Somebody gets hurt. Did Brett pack up all their lucky charms when he left? |
| 14 |  |
Denver Broncos | They’re trying to prove that you can make the playoffs without having any defense or running game at all. Jay Cutler’s arm may fall off in the process. Of course it helps to be in a division full of garbage teams. |
| 15 |  |
Tampa Bay Buccaneers | Dustin of Pewter Plank told me the NFC South is over-rated, that the teams have padded their records by pounding on the NFC North and AFC West, the two worst divisions in football. Maybe. But, as far as the Bucs are concerned…Jeff Garcia is a winner and that defense can still put a hurting on people. |
| 16 |  |
Atlanta Falcons | Bobby Petrino is gone and forgotten, which he deserves to be. So is Michael Vick. The franchise that was supposed to be devastated for years to come is in playoff contention. Matt Ryan looks like what Matt Leinart was supposed to be. Atlanta fans still don’t give a crap. |
| 17 |  |
Buffalo Bills | The feel-good story has turned into a sob-story after four straight losses, three against division foes. They have Kansas City and San Fran the next two weeks. I won’t make any cheesy remarks about circling the wagons. I’m not into copyright infringement. |
| 18 |  |
San Diego Chargers | Their valiant playoff run, with all those guys really injured and LaDainian Tomlinson kind of injured, now seems a hundred years ago. At least they have Ed Hochuli as a scapegoat. Norv Turner flops once more. He’ll still probably get hired as a head coach again. Maybe two more times. Dallas anyone? |
| 19 |  |
Minnesota Vikings | They’re just good enough to keep their heads at the surface, not quite good enough to swim for shore. Adrian Peterson is turning into the new Barry Sanders - a great talent on a team that doesn’t deserve him. |
| 20 |  |
Philadelphia Eagles | A tie. That’s what happens when two teams end up with the same score. In the NFL, you play one overtime period, and that’s it - unless it’s the post-season. Got that Donovan? Oh yeah - Philly fans wish you luck on your next team. So does Pam Oliver. |
| 21 |  |
Chicago Bears | Spankings hurt, especially when they come at the hands of your bitterest, oldest rival. The Bears can still muster a good defense at times, but not every game. They can’t lean on that defense anymore. They need legitimate quarterbacking, which they’re not going to get as long as Kyle Orton is gimpy. They’re only in it because the Packers refuse to run away with it. |
| 22 |  |
New Orleans Saints | Another supposed playoff team that’s barely treading water. I guess they could still go on a run - but I don’t think they will. Too bad they never found a defense. Too bad Reggie Bush didn’t pan out. |
| 23 |  |
Cleveland Browns | Brady Quinn is playing well. You think he’ll give Derek Anderson a ride to the airport on his way out of town? They still smell like 8-8. I don’t think they’re quitters though. |
| 24 |  |
Jacksonville Jaguars | Biggest busts in the NFL - even bigger than San Diego. Jack Del Rio is Bill Cowher lite - now the real Bill Cowher may be on his way in. Unless they want to promote Mike Tice. I’d advise against it. |
| 25 |  |
San Francisco 49ers | Antics are great, but Mike Singletary’s single best move was yanking J.T. O’Sullivan in favor of Shaun Hill. Come on San Fran - 6 wins in that division should be easy. You’re halfway there buds. |
| 26 |  |
Houston Texans | These guys define streaky. They lost four, then they won three, now they’ve lost three. Okay, so they were right about Mario Williams - but what else you got? |
| 27 |  |
Seattle Seahawks | Mike Holmgren’s victory lap has been more of a massive pile-up. I’m guessing he wishes he’d quit a year sooner. Matt Hasselbeck returned this weekend and threw 3 interceptions, then suffered an apparent concussion. When it goes wrong, it goes wrong. |
| 28 |  |
St. Louis Rams | So I guess Jim Haslett wasn’t the savior after all. Look on the bright side Rams - no one in St. Louis cares if you’re any good anyway. They just want the Cardinals to get Jake Peavy somehow. |
| 29 |  |
Cincinnati Bengals | Don’t look now, but the Bengals are 1-0-1 in their last two. Yes, a two-game not-losing streak for the Bungles. Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard - so he knows all about ties. And how hot those towny girls are. |
| 30 |  |
Kansas City Chiefs | I’ve been informed that Tyler Thigpen is the answer at quarterback for the Chiefs. Fantastic. Now who’s the answer at all the other positions including head coach? I’ll give you some time to get back to me on that. |
| 31 |  |
Oakland Raiders | Lane Kiffin may have been a genius in the making, the new Belichick. But the Raiders will never know because Al Davis didn’t like him. Al got mad because Lane - and this is shocking - actually expected to have control over his own team. How dare he, the rapscallion? |
| 32 |  |
Detroit Lions | I have again peered into my cloudy crystal ball, and can proclaim without hesitation that the Lions will not go 0-16. They will win one game this year. I’m not sure which one it will be though. If the football gods have a sense of humor, it will be the Titans on Thanksgiving. Two perfect seasons derailed in the same day. The Bucs and Dolphins pop champagne. Do the Dolphins still get to pop champagne? Who cares - they’re irritating old men. |
I found your blog on Google. I’ve bookmarked it and will watch out for your next NLP blog post.
April 23rd, 2009 at 2:36 am