Week 12 Power Rankings – Giants Supporters Vindicated

The people who power-ranked the Giants above the Titans have now been vindicated.  And what’s with all this strife in Tennessee now?  LenDale White acting like a little punk because he isn’t getting the ball?  Who does he think he is, Terrell Owens?   I thought Vince Young was the only headcase on that team.  Guess I was wrong.

The full power rankings after the jump:

1.  New York Giants Every week they impress you more.  They put up 30 on the Ravens?  They ran circles around the up-and-coming Cardinals?  They’ve separated themselves by at least a notch from the rest of the NFL.  And they’re doing all this in a division with two other legitimate playoff teams in it (and, yeah, the Eagles).  Eli Manning should be getting a lot more MVP buzz than he is.  He’s the coolest dork since Vin Diesel.

2.  New York Jets The Giants have the longest winning streak going in the league right now, but guess who has the second-longest?  Yup – that other New York team.  The one that was supposed to spend the whole year struggling to get out of the Giants’ shadow.  The one whose greatest recent accomplishment was ratting out Bill Belichick and the Cheatriots.  Now it looks like we could have an all-New York Super Bowl.  Favre vs. a Manning – but not the way we always expected it to happen.

3.  Tennessee Titans It ain’t just the loss, it’s the cracks in the hull.  I’m telling you right now – guys don’t just start bitching out of thin air the way LenDale White did.  Stuff like that is revealing of deeper issues.  Lack of character.  Rifts in the locker room.  Simmering resentments.  I bet Jeff Fisher would like to re-enact the USC bit where they tossed the LenDale dummy off the roof – but with the real LenDale this time.  There’s good news for the Titans though – they get to play the Lions!

4.  Pittsburgh Steelers It means something to have the absolute most bad-ass defense in the whole NFL, and this year, the Steelers do.  Okay, so they’ve got their problems on offense.  So Ben Roethlisberger is playing hurt.  So Willie Parker has been in and out of the lineup.  So Hines Ward is one hard block away from being suspended by Roger Goody-Goody.  They always find enough offense to win.  It helps when your D is giving up less than 15 ppg.

5.  Dallas Cowboys Last week I said I had a hunch about the Cowboys – that they were going to put things together with Romo back and Roy Williams getting integrated into the offense.  Well guess what?  They bore me out by blasting the Niners for 35.  All right, so it was only the Niners – but still, Terrell Owens going for 213?  That’s a positive sign.  Now if Marion Barber gets it out of neutral – look out.

6.  New England Patriots What’s better than a 400-yard passing game?  How about two in a row.  That’s what Matt Cassel has done.  One 400-yarder was enough to make people open their eyes – 2 straight has people wondering if Tom Brady’s days in New England are numbered.  And the best part of Cassel’s second statistical orgy?  He hit Randy Moss for three touchdowns.  That was the one knock on Cassel – he wasn’t getting it to the Freak.  Now the Freak is getting fed and Cassel is looking at getting paid (straight cash, homey).  And, oh yeah, the Pats look legit again.

7.  Indianapolis Colts It might surprise a few people to learn that Indy has won 4 in a row.  Yeah, a team with Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison, a team that won a Super Bowl a couple years ago and has been a glamour team of the league for many seasons, is flying under the radar.  And they’re probably glad about that.  It’s still going to be an uphill climb for them to get in the playoffs though.  Unless the Titans absolutely collapse and they somehow steal the division.  How wild of a plot twist would that be?  Even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t have dreamed that one up.

8.  Baltimore Ravens Recovered from their drubbing at the hands of the Giants by drubbing the Eagles.  They remain the most boring team in the top 10 but the joke’s on us cause they keep putting up wins.  They get to kick six different kinds of dog crap out of the Bengals this weekend, so that should be fun.  Still – does anyone really believe they can make the playoffs with Joe Flacco at the helm?  I still feel swoon in their future.  But I’ve been wrong before.

9.  Washington Redskins People remain somewhat lukewarm on this bunch in spite of their record.  Maybe it’s because they only beat teams like Seattle by 3?  Maybe it’s because people still really aren’t sold on Jason Campbell?  Maybe it’s because they’re in the same division with the Giants and Cowboys and that makes it really hard to get run in the press?  Well, they get a chance to prove themselves this weekend at home against the G-Men.  Either they will silence the doubters or they will be just another notch in New York’s belt.

10. Arizona Cardinals Hey, they lost to the Giants.  So their shot at moving up into the big time didn’t work out for them.  So they remain the team from the terrible division with the old, old quarterback and the history of futility that hangs on them like the slut label clings to Paris Hilton.  What do they care when they’re going to make the playoffs?  I’ll eat my shoe if they win a postseason game though.

11. Atlanta Falcons Hold up there…the Falcons the best team in the NFC South despite being a game behind the Bucs and Panthers?  Looks like somebody’s buying into the hype.  Yes, I know, it’s dangerous.  Matt Ryan is still a rookie quarterback and now there’s going to be pressure.  I’m not worried about that.  For now, their victory over the Panthers makes them the class of their division.  This whole thing will re-arrange next weekend I’m sure.

12. Carolina Panthers I couldn’t figure out how the hell they were winning, with Jake Delhomme having a mediocre year.  Then Jake has a nice game and…they lose.  By a lot.  To the Falcons.  Who were supposed to be in at least a three-year rebuilding mode.  I guess that makes the Panthers an enigma.  8-3 is hard to argue with I guess…but look at the wins.  A San Diego team we now know is terrible.  The Lions.  The Chiefs.  The Raiders.  Their three losses have all been by more than 10.  What does that say?

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Torching the Lions doesn’t impress me – especially when you have to come back from 17-0 to do it.  Jeff Garcia is the real deal though.  His experience and playmaking are the X-factors when it comes to the division race.  They’ll probably end up winning it.  Look at their schedule and tell me they can’t run the table.  That would make them 13-3.  Okay, they’ll have to lose at least two more times.  No freaking way this team wins 13 or even 12.

14. Miami Dolphins They deserve a pat on the back for bringing an innovative, entertaining offense into the league, and for turning around their dismal fortunes in such short order.  Great story, really inspiring.  I’m happy for them and their fans.  The NFL is a better league when the Dolphins are good for more than punchlines.  That being said…there’s no effing way they’re making the playoffs.  The Pats and Jets are on a different plane and the Phins are spoilers at best.  8-8 beckons.  That’s fantastic after 1-15.

15. Buffalo Bills That 4-game skid really took the wind out of their sails.  Sorry, but beating the holy hell out of the Chiefs isn’t enough for me to declare them alive again.  Beating Frisco this weekend won’t do it either.  This division is down to two teams – the Bills and Dolphins can fight it out for the scraps.  They’ve got good young talent on offense so maybe next year they’ll be for real.

16. Chicago Bears They survived life without Kyle Orton and now they’ve got a showdown game with the Vikings for the lead in the NFC North.  They beat the shit out of the Rams – which is kind of like, I don’t know, kicking Sarah Palin’s ass in a geography contest?  It’s sad that the best team in a division still can’t crack the top 15.  I would’ve picked the Packers to win it but…well, we know what happened.  So I guess it’s the Bears by default.

17. New Orleans Saints It doesn’t feel like they’re having a very good season, yet somehow they’re 6-5.  If they won more they’d be the Greatest Show on Turf ’08, with Drew Brees as Kurt Warner and this Lance Moore guy as Torry Holt.  And Reggie Bush as…not Marshall Faulk.  Yeah, that’s the problem.  Reggie gets more run for who his girlfriend is and what her butt looks like than his on-field performance.  And that’s when he’s not hurt.

18. Minnesota Vikings This is the only team in the world, I swear, that could put a hurting on Jacksonville like they did and still get destroyed by the fans afterward.  Sorry, but the Purple faithful are down on Brad Childress and that’s just life.  Doesn’t matter what he does.  It will always be wrong.  And now it really looks like Adrian Peterson doesn’t like him and, well, who is the owner going to side with in the end?  His mediocre coach or his potential Hall of Fame running back?  Anything less than a playoff appearance and Chilly will be packing his bags.

19. San Diego Chargers I shouldn’t have any faith left in them at this point.  I should resign myself to the fact that they’re a poor, disheartened team with an awful coach and a defense that doesn’t deserve to call itself a defense.  And yet there’s still a little part of me that won’t give in, that thinks this squad is going to right the ship and make it into the playoffs with some stupid record like 8-8.  Am I nuts?  The schedule says I might not be.

20. Jacksonville Jaguars I don’t know when the Jags went from Super Bowl contenders to a bunch of fuck-ups.  I do know that Jack Del Rio is getting the blame for it and probably deserves a lot of it.  I do know that David Garrard is a good quarterback and they can run the ball and play decent defense so why the frick are they tied for last with the Houston Texans?  Most unaccountable collapse of a football team in recent memory if you ask me.

21. Denver Broncos Record-wise, they are the best team in the division.  However, one gander at the point differential tells a different story:  They’ve been outscored 302-258 on the season.  If they were in most other divisions they would be lucky to have 3 wins.  This is why I still think the Chargers end up taking the division.  It evens out.  And, well, they just lost to the Raiders…and no team that loses to the Raiders deserves to be taken seriously.  The Jets will chew them up and spit them out.

22. Philadelphia Eagles Philly is in free-fall.  Donovan McNabb lost his starting job and the guy they put in for him was just as bad (but probably knew about ties even before the tie).  Now Donovan is back starting again according to Andy Reid.  What do we read into this?  That Andy knows his job is in trouble and he doesn’t want to go down with Kevin Kolb?  I wouldn’t either.  Unfortunately, at this point, it hardly matters.  This team could lose every game left on their schedule and wouldn’t that be a sorry state of affairs?

23. Green Bay Packers Oh Gosh – 51-29 to the Saints?  That’s the effort they put up when they’re trying to keep pace in the division?  I made excuses for them all along, saying I thought they were the best team in the NFC North and would eventually take charge, but screw that – they’re just plain not a good football team.  They can cover, usually, but can’t tackle for crap.  Aaron Rodgers may one day become a great QB but right now he’s only okay.  And that Favre guy is 8-3.  Just thought I’d mention.

24. San Francisco 49ers I have no reason for ranking these guys above a couple of teams with better records except that I feel like they’re on their way up, slightly, while some other teams below them are falling or stalled.  Does that make sense?  Maybe I just like Mike Singletary, who may not be a great coach, but is sure one crazy mofo.  There needs to be at least one crazy mofo coach in the league just to keep things entertaining.  I miss Jerry Glanville so very much.

25. Cleveland Browns These guys can’t get out of their own way.  Now Brady Quinn is hurt and it’s back to Derek Anderson who wasn’t exactly lighting things up before.  So they’re done.  Kaput.  Finito.  They were a one-year wonder – and didn’t even make the playoffs in their one year.  Plus they have a bunch of whiners and jerks like Kellen Winslow and Jamal Lewis on their team.  They’re just plain not likable.

26. Houston Texans Sage Rosenfels can do some things.  They have nice receivers.  They have a few parts on defense.  They have some winnable games the next few weeks, so, 7-9 maybe?  Sorry but it’s hard to care about them.  I still forget they’re even in the league.  Houston football means Warren Moon, Bum Phillips, Earl Campbell, the Astrodome.  Always has, always will.

27. Oakland Raiders They’re no longer the lead dog in the trainwreck pack – now they’re in the middle somewhere.  They’re still a long way from even mediocrity but at least JaMarcus Russell is starting to show signs.  It’s hard to say nice things about a team that blew so much money in the off-season and ended up getting so little in return.  And fired their coach just when it seemed like he was getting things figured out.  Al Davis would rather lose his way than win someone else’s and that’s just sad.

28. Kansas City Chiefs That whupping they took from the Bills would tend to indicate that things are not looking up for them.  Their situation is possibly even sadder than the Raiders’ because at least with the Raiders there’s Al Davis, who by himself constitutes an explanation for just about any level of suckiness.  I’m not sure what the hell is going on with the Chiefs except that their owner doesn’t want to spend money, their coach is terrible, they have no quarterback and their alleged top running back would rather do terrible things to women than make Pro Bowls.  I think I just answered my own question.

29. Cincinnati Bengals Dear Marvin Lewis:  So you sat down Chad Johnson for being an asshole.  I suppose there are some who would laud you for your new commitment to discipline, but pardon me if I don’t buy it.  It’s easy to crack the whip when you’re 1-9-1.  Maybe if you’d done it sooner you never would’ve gotten to that point.

30. (tie) Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams I can no longer distinguish between these two suckball teams.  They are interchangeable.  They are equally unwatchable.  They have both clearly packed it in on the season.  They will both have new coaches next year.  I feel sorrier for the Seahawks’ fans because at least the Rams’ fans have the Cardinals to look forward to.  What do Seattle fans have?  Ichiro?  The basketball fans can always root for the Trail Blazers I guess.  Well, at least the weather’s nice.  Not.

32. Detroit Lions They took a 17-0 lead into the second quarter against the Buccaneers.  Damn it Lions – 17-0!  All you had to do there was play good defense and run the ball.  Oh, that’s right – you can’t do either of those things.  Well, good luck on Turkey Day against Tennessee, anyway.