The big ESPN Super Bowl party brought out all the big stars…and the washed-up has-beens who forgot to take their antipsychotics.  No, I did not just call James Earl Jones a psychotic has-been…that’s Cuba Gooding, Jr. – what’s left of him, anyway.  I imagine Cuba is rooting for the Cardinals, the team his character Rod Tidwell played for in Jerry Maguire.  That’s if he’s actually aware that there’s a game going on.
I wonder what movies Cuba mentions when he’s trying to make it with the ladies.  “Hey girls.  You know I was in Radio, Norbit and Daddy Day Camp.  Ladies?  [...]

Bronson Pinchot, the guy who played Balki on the ’80s sitcom Perfect Strangers, has infuriated his neighbors in Harford, Pennsylvania by having a beloved 68-year-old memorial gazebo removed from his property.  “Very sad day,” whined one elderly resident.  “I was here in 1940 when they put that in. It was put there to honor the people that came here in 1790.”  This means nothing to the villainous Balki who asked for and received a court order allowing him to tear the crumbling wooden eyesore out of the ground he technically owns.
Jeff Van Gundy just wants everyone to know that it [...]

Joe Torre has stirred up quite a few pots with the stuff he put in his book The Yankee Years, which features the former New York manager’s takes on, among others, Alex Rodriguez (high-maintenance), Carl Pavano (generally hated) and Derek Jeter (evidently the most wonderful human who ever walked the earth, and if you don’t believe Joe, ask all the chicks he’s given herpes to).  Inevitably, some of Torre’s former players were going to begin expressing their ire at his negative characterizations of them:  And if you entered a pool to pick which would get the angriest the fastest, you [...]

Convicted dog-murderer Michael Vick will soon be leaving the friendly confines of Leavenworth for a halfway house in Virginia, says a lawyer for the former Falcons star who was testifying on his behalf at a bankruptcy hearing.  A second attorney at the hearing told the judge that he expects Vick to “ultimately” be reinstated by the NFL – though what “ultimately” means is anyone’s guess.  The good news is that, when Michael does get out, he will be much more sensitive to animals…having scored a 73.5 on that PETA test (Tico the Rotti is now my hero).

Relax gossip-mavens:  Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are still together (and hanging out at Super Bowl parties with noted porn-maven Jared Fogle).  It’s Khloe Kardashian and Timberwolves “star” Rashad McCants who’ve called it quits.  Khloe explained the break-up on her blog:
Hey guys.  I wanted you all to be the first to hear the news that as of last night Rashad and I are no longer together.  Relationships are hard enough as is when you live in the same city, and he’s in a different city everyday for games. Our time together was just so limited because of both of our [...]

To those who might’ve been hoping Dwayne Johnson would get serious about acting after dropping his “Rock” moniker…forget it.  Dwayne is all about getting paid, as evidenced by his participation in the new Disney load of hooey Race to Witch Mountain.  What’s next, Rock? Taking over for Tim Allen in The Santa Clause 4?

Barack Obama is supposed to be the man to take us beyond partisanism and into a new day of cooperation (and everyone not having to eat hair and grass because they’re broke).  Apparently this spirit of across-the-aisle unity doesn’t extend to his feelings about football, however.  When it comes to the gridiron, Obama is all about taking sides – and he’s chosen to throw in with the Steelers, who are apparently his “other team” when the Bears aren’t playing anymore.  Barack is not stupid, folks:  He knows Pennsylvania will be a battleground state in the next election too, so brownie [...]

Four pilots are suing former big leaguer Lenny Dykstra, claiming the oral cancer poster boy failed to pay them for flying his private plane, and also reneged on a verbal agreement to provide them with a four-month gig.  Now, some of you might be thinking:  Why in hell does Lenny Dykstra need to fly around on a private plane?  He can’t drive his Mazda to card signings?  Actually, Dykstra has done well in his post-playing days, reinventing himself as an aggressive, chaw-dribbling financial advisor.  Let me say this…anyone who would take financial advice from Lenny Dykstra would probably also be [...]