International House of Whup-Ass

AUTHOR: | IN: Criminal Behavior | COMMENTS: No Comments |

Former Buccaneer Michael Bennett and two others are being sued by a man who claims the running back and his pals beat his ass down in an IHOP in Tampa last October.  What makes the story juicy – as if that weren’t juicy enough – is the man’s allegation that Bennett was packing heat.  This should come as no shock after the Plaxico Burress affair, which again brought to light the love affair between NFL players and their weapons.  Thankfully Bennett didn’t see fit to discharge his gun – he and his boys, including former Bucs lineman Anthony Davis, were content to merely pounce on the guy and give him a thrashing (instead of chasing him down the street firing off rounds like Hopalong Harrison).

The accuser, a personal trainer named Brian Gordon, claims the whole thing started when he told Davis to stop shouting profanities at a waitress he’d become irritated with.  Obviously the woman was slow bringing Davis his stack and he, well, blew his stack.  Bennett claims he was only trying to play peacemaker, and of course denies having the gun, but Gordon says Bennett was right in the middle of the beating.  The lesson:  Don’t come between former NFL linemen and their flapjacks, and if you see one popping off in an IHOP at some ungodly hour of the morning, just chalk it up to low blood-sugar and stay out of it.

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