Archive for January, 2009

The (evidently charming) wife of Patriots defensive lineman Richard Seymour has been arrested in Richland County, South Carolina and charged with two counts of second-degree lynching.  Yes, I said lynching.  Reportedly, Mrs. Tanya Seymour and some of her girls (only one other has been arrested so far) committed mass assault on a pair of victims at a New Year’s party, leaving one of the assaultees with a sprained wrist.  The official news reports don’t name the victims, but the site MediaTakeOut.com (the only place to go for pictures of Paris Hilton giving oral pleasure to Cee-Lo – link is NSFW) [...]

Albert Pujols has gone on record to say the Cardinals should make a run at free agent masher (and headache) extraordinaire Manny Ramirez.  “I speak with Manny every three days and he tells me, ‘Man, no one wants to sign me,’” Pujols said. “I’m not an agent or general manager, but I can’t understand how Manny has not signed.”  The slugger added, “Maybe St. Louis doesn’t have the money to sign him, but he could give them a discount because St. Louis is a great city that supports its players.”  Yeah, I’m sure Scott Boras would looooove for Manny to [...]

Cowboys tight end Martellus Bennett has been fined $22,000 by the team for his infamous profanity-laced rap video.  Finally, the Cowboys have done something worthy of applause.  Memo to Martellus:  Next time to want to freestyle about Jerry Jones, Tony Romo (the “homo”) and Jason Witten, don’t wear a Cowboys helmet and have someone film it.  And please, dispense with the lame “apology” raps where you blame it all on the media.  That’s just sad.

Andrew Bynum‘s flagrant foul on Charlotte forward Gerald Wallace is being reviewed by the league, who may choose to discipline the Lakers center.  It was really no big deal:  Bynum just smashed Wallace in the ribs, sending him to the floor where he writhed and struggled to breathe, moaning like a dying horse.  Then Wallace went to the hospital where they had to stick a tube down into him to re-inflate his lung.  And he had a broken rib.  The guys over at Lake Show Life have branded the play a hard but not dirty one.  They’re a tad biased.  [...]

Jon Gruden got called a scumbag by Simeon Rice and two-faced by Michael Clayton, but don’t think the former Buccaneers coach is ready to take their bait.  Nope – it’s the high road all the way for Gruden, who today broke his silence on all the criticism being leveled against him, telling Chris Mortensen: I’m not the first coach to [receive] potshots. Hey, some people were taking potshots at Tony Dungy when I got here. Jeff Garcia, Michael Clayton, I wish those guys the best. . . . Some people have taken shots and I understand that not everyone likes [...]

The Super Bowl has been invaded by a cross-dressing Telemundo reporter named Joel Bengoa, who sashayed his fanny into the middle of press row Tuesday and started handing out boxes of chocolates to players.  “They told me it was going to be crazy, but I just thought it was going to be a lot of media,” Cardinals safety Aaron Francisco said after having his personal space violated by “Mr.” Bengoa. “Then that he-she gave me candy and I figured out what they were talking about. I think it was some Mexican dude in a dress, and he tried to get [...]

Associated Press writer Mitch Stacy, evidently bored with lobbing questions at members of this year’s Super Bowl teams, decided to get away from press-row and write a piece about the local color in and around Tampa Bay:  And by “local color” I mean “strip clubs.”  Mr. Stacy revealed in his piece that there are no fewer than 43 such establishments in this year’s Super Bowl city, places with names like Lip Stixx and the Bliss Cabaret.  Stacy reports that, because of all the tourists and athletes flocking to Tampa this week, some of said clubs have brought in independent contractors [...]

LaDainian Tomlinson‘s time with the San Diego Chargers may be growing short, and if things keep going the way they are, it will be an ugly divorce.  The crazy thing is that G.M. A.J. Smith, who would normally be asked to play the adult in this whole melodrama, has actually taken on the role of snippy agitator.  It all started harmlessly enough, with a blog post by L.T. about how much he wants to remain a member of the Chargers.  Tomlinson wrote: I have been getting a lot of messages on my site regarding me leaving San Diego. I feel [...]