Archive for January, 2009

Tom Brady must think he’s Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt or something, by the way he’s been operating lately.  Maybe being engaged to a supermodel has finally gone to his head?  Or maybe it’s just that Bill Belichick influence – that whole thing about treating the media like your very own personal bitch.  Whatever the case, Tom has certainly learned well the fine art of being a jerk-off.  Some radio people in Toronto discovered this recently when they booked an interview with the Patriots QB, then were hit with a list of approved and unapproved topics.  On the approved side:  [...]

Now we know why the Dallas Cowboys have become such choke-artists on the field:  It’s because they have absolutely no discipline in practice or apparently at any other time, including when the team plane is trying to leave.  Yes, the Cowboys can’t even get their plane off the ground without drama.  According to reports, the team jet was late taking off for a road trip no fewer than five times last season – and only two of those were because Terrell Owens locked himself in a bathroom with a bottle of pills and a razor blade and had to be [...]

Brett Favre has elected not to attend the Pro Bowl in Honolulu this year, shocking no one.  Instead Brett will sit home pondering when to hold the press conference announcing that he still hasn’t made up his mind whether to retire.  Let me help you with that one Brett:  Retire!  Now!  Don’t even bother with a press conference!  Make it easy on everyone – when next season starts, just don’t show up.  We don’t require an explanation.  We don’t need you to pour your heart out to us in your inimitable candy-ass fashion.  Just.  Go.  The.  Hell.  Away.  And by [...]

It wasn’t bad enough for Donovan McNabb that he had to lose the NFC Championship Game to the Arizona Cardinals…now he’s got to get his lawn fixed too after some Arizona fans burned the words “Go Cards” into his grass (the house is located in Chandler, Arizona).  Donovan reportedly took pictures of the vandalism and used them to motivate himself in the big game.  Obviously it didn’t work.  It’s also been reported that one of the vandals was caught after police found a box on Donovan’s property that included the idiot’s name and home address on a mailing label.   [...]

Anquan Boldin knows what being a team player is all about:  He proved it yesterday by blowing up at his offensive coordinator during the fourth quarter of Arizona’s victory in the NFC Championship Game, then storming off the field and straight out of the locker room while his teammates were all celebrating making the Super Bowl.  Evidently, making the Super Bowl doesn’t mean a whole lot to Anquan. He’s more concerned with acting like a beyotch so the team will be more amenable to trading him, preferrably to some squad that doesn’t already have a superstar receiver like Larry Fitzgerald, [...]

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers finished 9-7 this year and were in the playoff hunt until the last day of the season, but evidently, this was not enough to satisfy ownership who yesterday bade farewell to coach/GM combo Jon Gruden and Bruce Allen.  To say this came like a bolt from the blue would be an understatement – in fact, reports say Allen was still doing regular GM business hours before the axe fell.  I find it hard to believe he could’ve been entirely oblivious to what was about to befall him however.  Guys know when they’re going to be dumped.  [...]

ESPN‘s handsome insiders are reporting that the Lions have hired former Titans defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz to be their new head coach.  Schwartz has reportedly gotten a four-year deal, which would seem optimistic given that Detroit hasn’t had a coach make it to the end of four seasons since Wayne Fontes way back in the ’90s.  Maybe Schwartz will be the guy to break the trend.  Or maybe he’ll end up like Rod Marinelli who went 10-38 overall and this year became the first coach to lead his team to a perfect 0-16 record. Schwartz’s rehab job on the Lions [...]

The mayor of Pittsburgh is named Luke Ravenstahl.  The moniker has no particular significance most of the time, other than sounding like something some doof would call themselves in World of Warcraft, but this week it does because the mayor’s hometown Steelers are facing off against the Baltimore Ravens in the AFC title game.  Ravens…Ravenstahl…kind of ironic I guess or maybe just amusingly coincidental.  Anyway, Ravenstahl doesn’t want the first two syllables of his name to come between him and the voters, so for this week he’s asking to be called Luke Steelerstahl instead.  “On behalf of the Steelers Nation, [...]