Archive for January, 2009

Michael Irvin‘s pants are said to be in brownish condition after the former Cowboys receiver had a gun pointed at him by some toughs he encountered at a Far North Dallas stoplight.  “The passenger pulled out a semiautomatic and I knew what time it was,” Irvin recounted.  It pays to be a former Cowboy at a Far North Dallas stoplight however:  Irvin says the men recognized him and decided not to shoot and/or rob him after all.  “I tell you what,” the fortunate Mr. Irvin quipped, “I’m glad he was a Cowboys fan.”  And I’m glad Michael kept his head [...]

Jets owner Woody Johnson might want to sit down his daughter Casey and have a talk with her about picking her girlfriends.  Point #1 for Woody to emphasize:  Avoid women who might set your hair on fire.  Sadly, Casey has already learned the hard way about this one:  According to Page 6, Casey and her girlfriend Courtenay Semel got into a raging fight recently that ended when Courtenay gave a demonstration of the combustibility of hair, using Casey’s.  The crispy-scalped Ms. Johnson wound up in the hospital and has since been sporting a “short, butch” hairstyle – and she still [...]

The Giants never ever wanted anything to do with pistol-packing national embarrassment Plaxico Burress again…until they found out how hard it is to win playoff games without a receiver who can make things happen against a tough defense.  Now all of a sudden the Giants have softened their stance on Burress, who hasn’t played since shooting himself in the leg at a nightclub a couple months ago, and was supposedly dead to his former team. “Obviously it’s hard to replace [Plaxico],” Giants GM Jerry Reese said in the wake of Sunday’s humiliating home loss to the Eagles. “The guy has [...]

The NFL playoffs will have to proceed without any Mannings, now that Eli has met the same fate as his brother Peyton by getting booted.  A week after Peyton was sent packing by San Diego, Eli got his ticket home punched Sunday by the Philadelphia Eagles who limited him to 15 completions on 29 passes while picking him off twice and generally making him seem more miserable and hang-dog than usual.  And for once Eli was not bailed out by his vaunted running attack which did manage 138 yards against the Eagle defense but was kept entirely out of the [...]

Jake Delhomme may be done as the quarterback of the Carolina Panthers after turning the ball over six times in the team’s humiliating 33-13 playoff loss to the Arizona Cardinals.  Actually, if Panthers fans had their way, Delhomme would not only be done as quarterback, he’d be done as a human being, as in dead, possibly via hanging unless that’s too good for him.  If that sounds a little extreme to you…well, then you obviously didn’t see the game.  The formerly reliable if unspectacular Delhomme’s performance has to go down in history as one of the most staggering choke-jobs in [...]

Steve McNair says he will go forward with his plan to host a Ravens rally ahead of this weekend’s playoff game with Tenneseee, in spite of outrage from Titans fans who think their former hero is basically stabbing them in the back by doing so.  “This is a charity event I’m doing for the Ronald McDonald House in Baltimore and that’s it,” McNair explained.  “It doesn’t have anything to do with the Ravens or the Titans.  I’m gonna be there because I’m not gonna disappoint these kids.”  Sure Steve – use the little kids as human shields, just like Hamas.  [...]

Brett Favre caught a lot of flack from some of his Jets teammates, including Thomas Jones, who ripped the future Hall of Famer for almost single-handedly destroying the team’s playoff chances down the stretch.  But of course Brett is far too big a man to come back at Jones and the others who have dissed him in the wake of his disappointing performance.  “The bottom line is I didn’t play well in the final five games,” blubbered Favre in an interview with the Biloxi Sun Herald. “It starts with me and it should. I am not ripping Thomas because that [...]