Archive for February, 2009

Not as weak as the circus one… Ain’t no mountain high enough…ain’t no concept dumb enough…

Dumb…but at least there are no talking babies.

Yes…but do they have kung-fu grip?

Conan O’Brien does a goofy, homoerotic commercial that he thinks will only be seen in Sweden. It winds up on a giant screen in Times Square. Somewhere, a bear masturbates, and Abe Vigoda smiles.

One thing I never thought I’d live to see:  The emotionless robot tennis champ Roger Federer breaking down and blubbering like Favre himself after once again being beaten by Rafael Nadal, this time in the finals of the Australian Open.  Granted, it was a grueling five-set match, and winning it would’ve given Federer a record-tying 14th Grand Slam, something he desperately wants to achieve…but still, this is not what we want from Federer.  Crying is for Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson and women basketball players after they get knocked down in the lane…not complete steely hard-asses like Federer.  C-3P0, Data and [...]

Michael Phelps has decided to get out ahead of what is sure to be a poopstorm over News of the World‘s publication of a picture of him sucking on a bong at a college party last November.  The Olympic hero and stunningly wooden pitchman has admitted the guy in the picture is indeed him and apologized for letting everyone down.  Said Phelps in a statement: I engaged in behavior which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment. I’m 23 years old and despite the successes I’ve had in the pool, I acted in a youthful and inappropriate way, not in a [...]

Kobe Bryant fell into teammate Andrew Bynum‘s knee during L.A.‘s win last night, sending the big man crashing to the floor where he remained for two minutes before being helped off.  Early indications were that the injury was not as bad as the one that caused Bynum to miss most of last season including the playoffs, but still, a knee injury is a knee injury.  On the bright-side:  At least Bynum didn’t end up with a broken rib and a deflated lung.

The British tabloid News of the World has cut loose with a picture of someone they say is Olympic hero Michael Phelps taking a hit off a bong during a party at the University of South Carolina last November.  The tab quotes witnesses who say Phelps was “out of control” at said party, slamming beers and generally being obnoxious as hell.  Another witness testified to Phelps’s clear experience with cannabis-related paraphernalia, saying: He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming in the pool. He was the gold medal winner of bong hits. NOTW [...]