Archive for March, 2009

I’m sure there’s some trickery involved in this amusing bit where Jimmy Kimmel, with help from his adorable ethnic sidekick, one-ups that underhand half-court shot LeBron James wowed Steve Kroft with on 60 Minutes.  I’m guessing Jimmy probably got Criss Angel to help him set this up.  Or maybe there was CGI involved.  Or, maybe Jimmy Kimmel is actually greater than LeBron James!  Hmm…nah.  I’m going with Angel.

Jimmy Fallon and Andre Iguodala help make the end of the world as we know it a lot more fun and visual by explaining, in terms any couch potato sports nut can understand, the Obama administration’s rejection of GM’s bailout proposal.  Who needs Paul Krugman when you have late night TV and random NBA stars?

I’m not exactly sure what the Guitar Hero people were hoping to accomplish with this commercial.  Do they really think the young folks who play their game are going to relate to an ad full of old dudes?  “Hey man – let’s go get Guitar Hero!  My dad’s favorite heavy metal band is in it!”  Oh, you thought I meant the four coaches when I referred to “old dudes.”  No, I meant Metallica.  Those guys are like, what, in their fifties?  Plus, let’s face it – they kind of suck.  Always did.  Of course, when you’re loaded on beer and [...]

Former Reds pitcher and current Reds minor league pitching coach Tom Browning has been arrested for non-payment of child support.  Just to give you an idea how much anyone cares about Tom Browning:  the arrest happened Friday, and only came to light Monday.  AP says Browning was held on $99,008.36 bond, but doesn’t say if anyone came around to bail him out.  Oh, the sad life of an ex-big leaguer who can’t live up to the obligations left from his wild sexin’ days.  But hey, look at the bright side for Tom:  he once pitched a perfect game.  The authorities [...]

Chad Johnson got a head start on being a distraction for the Bengals by not showing up for the beginning of the team’s offseason program on Monday.  Think Carson Palmer is irritated by it?  “I’m not worried about him; I’m worried about the guys we have here,” Palmer said at a news conference. “The guys that want to be here and want to work now are the guys who are in the locker room right now and are here today.” Uh, yeah, I’d say he’s irritated.  And so is Marvin Lewis – though the coach refused to confirm Johnson’s absence.  [...]

Ryan Moats and his wife Tamishia went on Good Morning America to talk about being kept from Tamishia’s dying mother while an over-zealous Dallas cop harassed them for running a red light.  Rather than call the officer, Robert Powell, a lot of bad names, Moats did the Christian thing and said he would accept the man’s apology if it were offered.  This is why Ryan Moats is a decent human being and I’m not.  I would’ve used the opportunity to ream Powell, the Dallas cops and pretty much the entire human race. And then I would’ve found Charlie Gibson and [...]

Sean O’Hair went into the final round of the Arnold Palmer Invitational at Bay Hill with a 5 stroke lead over Tiger Woods.  In other words, he was screwed.  Sorry Sean, but there was no way in heck Tiger was letting himself lose that tournament.  He knows that course better than he knows the gorgeous contours of his smoking hot Swedish wife’s shapely back, plus he was all pent up after spending months on the shelf not experiencing winning, his favorite thing in the world (second place being sex with his smoking hot Swedish wife).  In short, O’Hair never had [...]

Mark Cuban just announced that he has been fined $25,000 by the NBA for criticizing the officials on Twitter.  And how did Cuban make said announcement? On Twitter.  I’m telling you, if everyone in the world Twittered, the mainstream media would become almost completely irrelevant. I’m sure Cuban thinks it’s worth 25 grand to make his grievance known.  He’s rich.  And opinionated.  And he doesn’t like J.R. Smith much.