Manny Ramirez Holding Out for Another Million-and-a-Half

Don’t ask me to figure out the intricacies of the contract the Dodgers have offered Manny Ramirez, because I can’t.  All I know is that Manny doesn’t want to sign if a lot of the money will be deferred:  He wants his dough as quick as possible, so he can spend it before any asteroids hit the earth.  Oh, and he wants as much of that dough as he can possibly get.  He’s so stubborn on this point that, apparently, he’s willing to hold out for an extra $1.5 million – even though he’s already being offered at least $42 million over two years.  Hey, a man’s gotta eat – with golden forks.  Having cooked his food on a grill that doubles as a ballistic missile launcher.