Archive for March, 2009

I don’t know what Barack Obama was thinking when he threw in a Special Olympics blast while denigrating his own notedly weak bowling skills.  Maybe he figured no one would notice…since he was only on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.  Maybe he figured no one would post the clip on YouTube…since that whole internet thing is just a cultish little fad.  Maybe he figured his enemies wouldn’t use this to ridicule and attack him…since everyone knows that in politics you never try to beat people over the head with their minor slip-ups.  Look on the bright side Barack:  at [...]

Gonzaga moves on.  I have them dropping LSU in the third round to make the Elite 8.  Yes, I have LSU beating North Carolina.  Yes, they were good drugs.

The Memphis Tigers are in the second round of the Big Dance after beating Cal State Northridge 81-70.  If that score looks a little close for a 2-15 game…well, it is, but it’s nothing compared to how close the game was midway through the second half.  There was actually a point, with a little over 10 minutes left, when Northridge led by six.  Brackets weren’t yet busting but they were starting to bend, along with the hopes and dreams of office poolers all over America.  Thankfully Memphis has this dude named Roburt Sallie who sank a bunch of three-pointers down [...]

Martin Brodeur, perhaps the greatest goalie in the history of hockey, has been ordered by a judge to pay his ex-wife $500,000 in yearly alimony until 2020.  Brodeur’s ex, Melanie DuBois, received the new alimony after appealing an earlier decision that paid her much less.  The judge turned a deaf ear to Brodeur’s request that he only have to cough up the 500-grand until he retires, ruling instead that Brodeur should keep up the payment until his youngest child with DuBois is out of high school.  Get the kid some good tutors, Martin.

The NFL competition committee conducted a survey of players and team officials to see if there was any support for changing the league’s overtime rules, which most fans agree are lame and crappy not to mention stupid.  The verdict:  nobody associated with the league wants the rules tweaked, therefore overtime will go on sucking for the foreseeable future.  Once again, the NFL demonstrates just how much it values the input of the public at large.  Do you feel sufficiently dissed, paying customers?  Or would you like your little insignificant faces stomped on a tiny bit more? Clearly, the NFL doesn’t [...]

Mike Krzyzewski seemed a little irked that Barack Obama didn’t pick Duke to make the Final Four.  Okay…but going to the “our economy needs more attention than your brackets” dig?  Pretty weak stuff, Coach K.  Also…probably not a great idea to be antagonizing the prez.  Clearly, Coach K. has lived far too long in that little Duke basketball bubble where he’s some kind of god and can do anything he wants.  In the real world, coach, you’re just another dude with an effed-up name.  So maybe try a little humility.  And lay off Barack, unless you want your ass audited [...]

The New Jersey Nets have suspended Sean Williams for two games after his altercation with a clerk in a cell phone store in Denver.  Said altercation allegedly included Williams throwing a computer monitor…not how they teach you to deal with your anger issues in one of those classes.  Police say Williams’s hissy resulted in over $1,000 in damage in the store, not to mention the psychological scarring incurred by the poor clerk.  I’ll give Williams credit for this:  At least he didnt’ get nailed for DUI.  Originality points.

The hospital where Octomom gave birth agreed to let the crazy Angelina Jolie impersonator take two of her eight new children home, but only after inspecting her house and making sure she had enough people to take care of all the squealing poopers.  If you’re keeping score, Octo now has 8 kids at home and 6 still in the hospital.  Yes, that’s a grand total of 14 kids. If Octo wasn’t crazy before, she will be soon.