Apr 3rd 2009
Ichiro Stressed? Bleeding Ulcer Sends Him to D.L.
Ichiro Suzuki has been placed on the 15-day DL after complaints of fatigue and stomach pain led to the discovery of a bleeding ulcer. The good news for the former MVP is that the ulcer is no longer bleeding. The bad news is that he still plays for the Mariners.
Apr 3rd 2009
The Daily Sexah: Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen Merge to Create Perfect Storm of Useless Skankage
Lily Allen performs Britney Spears‘ “Womanizer,” Lindsay Lohan staggers onto the stage, awkwardness happens. Only an appearance by Lady Gaga could’ve made this more perfectly skankalicious.
Apr 3rd 2009
Michael Vick Shows Contrition, Admits Immaturity
Michael Vick has been cooling his heels in the slammer for over a year now, and according to the former NFL superstar, the experience has convinced him of the need to change his ways. “I can’t live like the old Mike Vick,” the convict said in front of a bankruptcy judge on Friday. “I was very immature. I did a lot of things I wasn’t supposed to do being a role model.” Like fight dogs. And throw family pets into the ring with the fighting dogs. And electrocute dogs and starve dogs. Just a reminder to anyone who might’ve forgotten [...]
Greg Oden shows a bunch of grade schoolers that, like his peers LeBron James and Dwight Howard, he also can make a full-court heave. Fantastic. Now let’s see Greg go a whole season without some part of his body failing catastrophically. That would be impressive.
The guy in this video, who appears to rescue a sunbathing young woman from being hit by a ball at a spring training game, is getting a lot of praise for his heroism and chivalry – but let’s be honest, the dude was just trying to get himself a ball like every other nitwit fan who brings a glove to a game. He probably didn’t even notice the skank was there until after he was sprawled on the grass like Mr. Doofus of Doofusville. Of course I’m sure he tried to play it to his advantage afterward. Unfortunately, chicks don’t care [...]
Twitter can be used for a lot of things, including ripping refs and posting pictures of your wife’s butt, but perhaps its most evil employment is as a means of delivering lame-ass April Fools’ Day bits – like the one UConn center Hasheem Thabeet perpetrated on his pals, where he made them think he had been suspended for testing positive for drugs. Thabeet’s prank tweet reads: OMG! Why Me? SO I Failed Drug Test.. NOt GOin To Detroit.. MY Boys Do IT For Me!!! f***in suprise drug test!!! ahhh MY Life SUCKS!!! This tweet is revealing – even disturbing – [...]
