Archive for April, 2009

Former major league pitcher, and noted Yankee bust, Hideki Irabu has made his comeback dream sort of come true by signing a contract with the Long Beach Armada of the independent Golden Baseball League.  Irabu, who was once infamously called a “fat toad” by George Steinbrenner, will join another famous aging ex-big leaguer, Jose Lima, on the pitching staff for Long Beach.  What, Dennis El Presidente Martinez wasn’t available?  They tried to get in touch with Rich Reuschel but couldn’t find his number? Sounds to me like the “Golden Baseball League” is aptly named.  Too bad Bea Arthur just died [...]

The writers at the Boston Globe can’t handle the fact that their beloved Celtics are currently tied 2-2 in the first round of the playoffs after being felled in game 4 by the upstart Chicago Bulls (in two overtimes no less).  So beside themselves are the Globe‘s scribes that they’ve even begun floating conspiracy theories about the refs:  Globe columnist Frank Dell’Apa points out that two of the officials from Game 4, Bill Kennedy and Dan Crawford, are from Chicago, and further claims that “an NBA source” saw members of Kennedy and Crawford’s families sporting Bulls gear at the game.  [...]

Carl Edwards is known for doing a backflip off his car whenever he wins a race (which in recent times has been often), but Sunday at Talladega, it was his whole car doing the acrobatics.  Thankfully, Edwards was not injured.  Unfortunately, seven fans were hurt by debris that flew off when Edwards’ car hit the fence, though none seriously.  Knowing these redneck yahoos, they’ll probably get tattoos of the marks left by the hunks of metal. “How’d you lose your ear Bobby-Sue?” “Hunk of Carl Edwards’ chassis sliced it off at Talladega in ’09.” “Sweet.  Let’s drink alcohol and make [...]

The Magic were in danger of going down 3-1 to the Sixers, until Hedo Turkoglu took matters into his own hairy-knuckled hands and killed the 3-ball for the win.  Evidently, Stan Van Gundy‘s panicky tendencies do not affect Hedo’s rotation.

Sit down here on grandpa’s knee and let him tell you about the olden times when this fella named Jackie Robinson used to steal home all the time.  He stole home so much people actually got bored with it, if you can believe that.  People used to say, “There goes Jackie stealing home again.  Would sure be nice if he’d stay on third and let somebody drive him in.”

Kudos to ESPN for electing to include everyone’s favorite kinda sexy lady sports journo Erin Andrews in Saturday’s draft coverage.  Not only is Erin somewhat nice to look at, if you can get past the whole nose thing, but her interviews with the players provided lots of opportunity for inappropriate jokes, jibes and erection speculation.  “Oh, watch out Matt, don’t knock her over with that thing.”  Hee hee.

It’s possible Al Davis doesn’t take the whole scouting and working out and drafting process as seriously as he should.  This would certainly explain why, despite mountains of data indicating against such a move, his Oakland Raiders selected Maryland wide receiver Darrius Heyward-Bey with the #7 overall pick, a move that drew immediate scorn, derision and ridicule from the Mel Kipers, Todd McShays and Mike Mayocks of the world…oh, and pretty much everyone else who knows, or thinks they know, anything about the players available in this year’s draft.  Heyward-Bey, to put it mildly, was considered a shaky prospect:  great [...]

ESPN viewers, blog readers and overall sports news followers may have noticed a recent increase in chatter pertaining to this year’s NFL Player Selection Meeting, also known as the NFL draft.  Do not be alarmed.  Despite the impression that may have been given, Mel Kiper and Todd McShay are not about to unleash a plan to take over the world.  As far as we know, these draftniks and their parrot-like minions are just a bunch of crazies hiding in caves with reams of stats on college players, internet connections and closets filled with bottles of their own urine, and are [...]