10 Things That Would be More Exciting Than the NBA Draft Lottery:
1. Listening to Garrison Keillor tell that story about the time he watched the turtle cross the path.
2. Watching Jay Mariotti shave his Eddie Munster bit.
3. Grand Theft Auto: The Grandma-Approved Version.
4. Attending a Bill Belichick impersonators’ convention.
5. Witnessing the spectacle of Jason Whitlock taking a post-barbecue snooze in his Barcalounger.
6. Nancy Pelosi working the pole.
7. Going to a party at Bill James‘ house.
8. Tennis without underwear-flash, grunting or water bottles.
9. Sifting through the downloaded contents of Megan Fox’s brain (would at least be a short assignment).
10. Turning off your computer and reading one of those things…you know what I mean…people have them on shelves…and sometimes you see them propping up broken sofas.
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