Fake Skip Bayless has a problem with Craig Sager‘s eccentric wardrobe, and isn’t shy about expressing his disdain via the ever-popular social networking site Twitter. During Wednesday night’s Cavs-Magic game, Fake Bayless tweeted the following:
Craig Sager always wears the dumbest looking suits TNT should really say something to him
I’m Sorry but Sager is such a joke I have always thought so
Sager is a joke again, Goodnight everyone 10am be there
How much does Fake Bayless despise Sager and his clown suits? It was the last thing he tweeted before he went to bed. Had Fake Bayless died in his sleep, his final dispatch to humanity would’ve been, “Sager is a joke again, Goodnight everyone 10 am be there.” That’s an expression of hatred not seen since Ahab‘s, “From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee.” Sager is Fake Bayless’s Moby Dick. Of course, Fake Bayless is about 8000 times more of an asshole than Ahab, the most assholish character in all literature (with the possible exception of Holden Caulfield). And, of course, Moby Dick would never be caught dead dressed like this:
Eva Longoria was genuinely mortified. In fact she needed therapy after that. “This horrible man sat down next to me wearing an outfit the Joker gave to Goodwill and with no shoes on! I couldn’t get away.” Much as I hate Fake Bayless, I have to take his side in this one – something needs to be done about Sager, before he drives another no-talent TV actress to the nuthouse. An intervention must be staged. Sager must be sent to sartorial rehab.
Don’t despair, Craig. If MC Hammer can be saved from the scourge of parachute pants, you can be rescued from your own wardrobe demons. It takes time, and the support of family members. And a little electroshock. And a gift card from Armani Exchange.
(Disclaimer: The real Skip Bayless wants you to know he would never say anything bad about Craig Sager.)Tags: ahab, cleveland cavaliers, craig sager, eva longoria, holden caulfield, mc hammer, moby dick, orlando magic, skip bayless