The doctor who fixed Tom Brady‘s knee has expressed astonishment at the swiftness with which the quarterback has recovered from the injury that prematurely ended his 2008 season:
Speaking publicly for the first time about the NFL star’s surgery and physical rehabilitation, [Dr. Neal] ElAttrache told The Times that Brady “even exceeded what I thought he was going to be able to do, and I was expecting big things from him.”
With Brady’s permission, ElAttrache spoke about the knee reconstruction, treatment of a subsequent infection, and the patient’s unwavering focus to recuperate in time to play this season.
“With regard to his recovery of strength, I’ve never seen anything quite like it,” said ElAttrache, who serves as team physician for the Dodgers and worked with the L.A. Rams. “With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back.”
Other ElAttrache revelations about Brady’s knee:
- When he first cut it open, he swore he heard a heavenly choir singing, and there came to him a white light that was the most pure and beautiful he has ever witnessed.
- Tom gave permission for lepers to come and be healed by his knee. The knee also gave sight to the blind, cured Paris Hilton‘s herpes and helped David Hasselhoff kick booze. It tried to help Perez Hilton with his being an asshole problem but, alas, found the challenge too daunting.
- The knee is currently mediating talks between the Israelis and Palestinians, and is said to be very hopeful that a lasting peace can be reached.
- Barack Obama consults the knee daily about the economic situation. It was briefly considered for the post of treasury secretary before Tim Geithner got the job.
- After Batman got drunk and fell down some stairs, the knee took over, and saved Gotham from the Penguin‘s evil plot.
- Bill Belichick has secretly admitted that, all along, the knee has actually been coaching the Patriots, and he’s just there to keep up appearances.
- The knee has already been to Mars and back three times, making contact with a race of underground-dwelling aliens who look suspiciously like Jelena Jankovic.
- LeBron James has begged the knee to join the Cavs, cause he’s sick of being surrounded by losers.
- The knee was briefly engaged to Minka Kelly, but the relationship was called off because Gisele doesn’t like four-ways.
- It’s ticklish.
