Archive for June, 2009

Chris Evert is the latest old school tennis star to publicly slam the modern day ladies players for their loud, orgasmic vocalizations during matches. “Grunting is one thing but the shrill sound that you hear with players nowadays, and especially they get louder when they hit a winner, that’s the thing that I observe as a player,” Evert said. “It comes before they hit the shot. That’s the first thing you hear and you are kind of like thrown off-guard as a player and then before you know the ball gets past you.” So Chris’s assertion is that the “grunting” [...]

Getting drunk and running onto the field at a sporting event is the dumbest way to get arrested this side of shooting yourself in the thigh at a club.  I wonder when the dumb rowdies will realize that security guards at games just itch for them to do something dumb so they can jump on top of them and start hammering away.  Yeah stupid, not only are they allowed to kick your ass, they like kicking your ass.  They should give the security guards tasers.  Or clubs with nails sticking out of them.  Or just let them draw heaters on [...]

Winning the Confed Cup over Brazil would’ve been an even bigger deal for American soccer than David Beckham playing for the Galaxy.  Sadly, after going up 2-0 in Sunday’s final match, USA remembered that it’s USA, and Brazil remembered that it’s Brazil.  And all the American folks with soccer hysteria returned to being normal Americans who don’t give a rip about soccer. Imagine for a second, however, that America had won the cup.  Besides pissing off Brazil even worse than that Simpsons episode where Homer got kidnapped, what effect would this really have had?  Would it have made a meaningful [...]

I have no idea how long Brandon Jennings will last in the NBA, but I guarantee his stint will be an entertaining one.  Hell, guy hasn’t even played a game yet and he’s already making waves.  First he made a spectacle himself at the draft with a dramatic late entrance, and now he’s guaranteed himself even more run – and likely a good talking-to from someone in the league – by making incendiary comments on a video. The clip, featuring a rapper named Joe Budden, has been removed from YouTube, but can still be found elsewhere.  On it, Jennings talks [...]

For years, American women’s tennis has been Venus Williams, Serena Williams and a bunch of people not worth mentioning.  But that might be changing now thanks to the efforts of an American 17-year-old named Melanie Oudin, who on Saturday knocked off former #1 Jelena Jankovic to advance to Wimbledon’s round of 16. Oudin had to deal with more than just Jankovic’s world-class game in order to pull off the upset – she also had to endure Jankovic’s mad injury faking skills.  After the first set, Jankovic went into full-on Actor’s Studio mode, feigning apparent heatstroke – or maybe just a [...]

Michael Jackson was a lot of things in his life:  adorable child star, great pop/R&B singer, electrifying live performer, music video pioneer and all-time best-selling recording artist.  But, there was one role Michael may have excelled in above all others:  pop culture sideshow freak. Sometimes his outrageousness seemed deliberate; other times he seemed merely an innocent victim being tossed about by a cruel fate.  And sometimes, he was just downright effed-up.  While everyone else is busy remembering Jackson the singing and dancing sensation, we pay tribute to the man, the myth, the complete wack-job: 10.  A Cry for Help Joseph [...]

Martin Scorsese and John Smoltz.  What do these two have in common?  They were both once great…but are not anymore. Martin Scorsese once made movies like Mean Streets, Taxi Driver and The Last Waltz – works of art that helped redefine Hollywood in the ’70s.  Now he makes pure paycheck flicks like The Aviator, The Departed and the forthcoming Shutter Island, which looks like it could’ve been directed by one of the hacks who made Saw. The lesson here is simple:  greatness has its day, but eventually that day ends, and there’s nothing left but the afterglow. That day of [...]

Chad Johnson was tweeting about Michael Jackson Thursday afternoon, same as just about everyone else on the face of the earth, when his grief and sadness over the King of Pop’s passing caused him to post something that immediately called into question his overall sense of historical perspective. “Okay, first Mrs. Fawcett now Mr. Jackson, please tell me that this is a mistaken rumor, if not this is just as sad as 9/11,” Ochocinco tweeted. Really Ocho?  As sad as 9/11?  But not as sad as Pearl Harbor, the Holocaust or the day Jesus was crucified? Ocho, realizing what an [...]