Top 10 Things Richard Seymour Would Rather Do Than Play For The Raiders

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Richard Seymour has not reported to the Raiders yet and in a Pacman Jonesin’ exclusive, here are 10 things he would rather do than play for Al Davis in Oakland:

10.  Drink his own urine

9.    Drink Tom Cable’s urine

8.    Be Eddy Curry’s driver/personal assistant

7.    Hang out with Stephon Marbury 24/7

6.    Get up close & personal with Shaq’s ass to find out how it tastes

5.    Spend a weekend pleasuring Nancy Pelosi

4.    Become a full-time parole officer for Raiders fans

3.    Attend all Raiders home games in a San Diego Chargers jersey

2.    Be teabagged by a sweaty Robert Gallery 

1.    Change Al’s Depends multiple times a day (diap-ahhhs contain the greatness of the Raid-ahhs)

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2 Comments on Top 10 Things Richard Seymour Would Rather Do Than Play For The Raiders

  1. toasterhands says:

    Must get #5 image out..of..my…head!!!

  2. Jeff says:

    Richard Seymour, what a fine human specimen

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