Top 10 Things Richard Seymour Would Rather Do Than Play For The Raiders

Richard Seymour has not reported to the Raiders yet and in a Pacman Jonesin’ exclusive, here are 10 things he would rather do than play for Al Davis in Oakland:

10.  Drink his own urine

9.    Drink Tom Cable’s urine

8.    Be Eddy Curry’s driver/personal assistant

7.    Hang out with Stephon Marbury 24/7

6.    Get up close & personal with Shaq’s ass to find out how it tastes

5.    Spend a weekend pleasuring Nancy Pelosi

4.    Become a full-time parole officer for Raiders fans

3.    Attend all Raiders home games in a San Diego Chargers jersey

2.    Be teabagged by a sweaty Robert Gallery 

1.    Change Al’s Depends multiple times a day (diap-ahhhs contain the greatness of the Raid-ahhs)