Are you ready for some football? The first weekend of the NFL season is upon us and the alcohol will be flowing in bars, restaurants and homes a few short hours from now. Just to make things a little more interesting, you and your buddies should down a shot or a beer (or a shot and a beer for the hardcore crowd) every time one of the following ten things happens:
10. Brad “The Professor” Childress looks dazed and confused on the sidelines- The beard isn’t fooling anyone Childress, you are still Captain Clueless.
9. Shane Lechler punts the football – Oakland’s most dangerous offensive weapon has gotten a lot of practice during his nine years with the team and earns an annual salary of $4 million. Yes, you heard that correctly. Al Davis is paying his punter $250,000 a game.
8. Andy Reid mismanages the clock during the last two minutes of a half- Even the biggest Eagles/Iggles homer in the world knows that Big Red still hasn’t figured out how to properly manage the clock in crucial situations.
7. Troy “Master Of The Obvious” Aikman says the word ‘but’- Whenever Aikman and Joe Buck are broadcasting a game, the sound is always off in my house. Every other sentence out of Aikman’s mouth includes the word but. Just listen later today and tell me I’m wrong.
6. Norv Turner botches a challenge – This is a lock to occur at least twice a game. If it’s not against the rules, Turner should really just delegate this task to an assistant coach because he does the wrong thing almost every time.
5. Jay “Sourpuss” Cutler is shown on the sidelines pouting – If there is a more miserable player in the league than Cutler, I’d appreciate if someone would let me know. It’s still hard for me to fathom that certain experts are actually picking the underachieving Cutler to lead the Bears to the Super Bowl.
4. Jerry Jones comes down from his luxury box to stand next to Wade Phillips – Really, is there anything funnier than when Jer-ah does this at the end of a game? Well, come to think of it, a punt hitting the scoreboard is also damn funny. Go ahead and take a shot whenever that happens at Cowboys Stadium too.
3. Cris Collinsworth says he was watching or studying film/tape - We know you do a lot of prep work for these games, Wooderson. You really don’t have to remind us every twenty minutes or so.
2. Ron Jaworski says he was watching or studying film/tape – Jaws and Collinsworth are always trying to one-up each other as far as time spent breaking down tape is concerned. Fellas, just give it a rest already. Please…if for nothing else but the continued sanity of your viewers.
1. Brett Favre’s name is mentioned- Hey, did you hear Brett Favre is playing for the Minnesota Vikings this season? ESPN and other media outlets hardly ever mention it so I thought I’d just let you know. This one is only recommended during games in which the Vikings aren’t playing or your blood alcohol level will be .39 by the end of the first quarter.
Happy Drinking!!!
Tags: andy reid, brett favre, jerry jones, minnesota vikings, oakland raiders, Shane Lechler
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