The Tiger Woods Saga Continues: Elin Sounds Off, Personal Skank Service & Lefty Mickelson

 Faux Twitter Tweet of the Day

WTF?  That Perkins waitress is a 5 on a good day.  Women get wet & guys get hard just looking at my picture.  It is so over.

Elin Nordegren Woods         December 9th 

I hate to pile on Tiger but I’m going to do so anyway…albeit briefly for one more short post.  Here is the latest in the Woods Saga that seemingly will never end: 

• Elin purchased a home in Sweden late last month
• Tiger’s mistresses now number at least 10.  
• His childhood friend and the current president of Tiger Woods Skank Service Design, Bryon Bell, apparently helped arrange and coordinate hook ups all over the world    
• Elin’s alleged assault with a nine-iron inspired an SNL skit that brought both big laughs and some scorn.  Incidentally, golf club violence isn’t as rare as you might think

Although I’ve been a huge fan of Woods for more than a decade, I really don’t feel much sympathy for him.  He brought this sordid mess upon himself.  In the end it’s probably only going to cost him 1/10 of his net worth, but the damage to his legacy (at least in the United States) will be everlasting.   

So at this point you’re probably wondering…who is that hottie leaning up against the plane?  No, it’s not mistress #11.  It’s none other than Bond girl, Pussy Galore.  Given Woods current predicament, can the PGA now be called anything other than the Pussy Galore Association?     

It’s not just Tiger either.  John Daly, Phil Mickelson and several other prominent golfers have been down this road before. Even though this column from Yahoo Sports paints a very positive portrait of Mr. Mickelson, Lefty’s prior peccadilloes and dalliances have been well documented on other blogs (including another one of mine). 

Here is how I see the saga unfolding:  Tiger & Elin will get a divorce, a few endorsements will be lost, there will be an exclusive primetime interview and Woods will win three of the four majors in 2010.  

Tiger will continue to be a punchline for at least another couple of years, but once his divorce is finalized the salacious stories and jokes will gradually disappear.  As soon as Woods captures his 19th major championship, he’ll retire to a private island and live on a luxurious 128 ft. yacht called you guessed it:  Pussy Galore.   Is there any doubt this is how it’s going to play out?

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