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5. Gilbert Arenas Being Suspended - After allegedly failing to pay a five figure gambling debt to a teammate, Agent Zero’s actions caused him to be suspended without pay to the tune of $147,000 per game. The $80 million plus in guaranteed money that is left on his contract may also be voided by the Washington Wizards. Hold on a second, come to think of it this isn’t that surprising at all. Arenas has been an eccentric assclown his entire career.
4. The Philadelphia 76ers – There is simply no other way to say it. The Sixers suck. The Answer hasn’t been a cancer…yet…but he certainly hasn’t improved the team since he’s been there. At 10-24, the 76ers are tied for the 3rd worst record in the league.
3. Marc Gasol Can Really Ball- Statistically speaking, Marc Gasol has performed nearly as well as big brother Pau this season (14.9 ppg, 9.9 rpg and 1.4 bpg vs. 16.8 ppg, 11.5 rpg and 1.7 bpg). Now instead of the Grizzlies-Lakers being the worst trade in NBA history, it’s only one of the ten worst.
2. The Sacramento Kings - Despite being without their leading scorer for most of the season, the Kings have managed to win 14 games. I didn’t think they would win more than a couple dozen all year, however, the one-two punch of Tyreke and Omri make a once troubled franchise’s future very bright.
1. No Big NBA Cheerleader/Dancer Stories – Since Dwight Howard hasn’t knocked up another Magic cheerleader and Vanessa Bryant hasn’t had any other Laker Girls thrown off the squad for banging her husband in a Staples Center storage closet having an affair with her husband, it’s been eerily quiet so far this season.
It’s only a matter of time though. Any day I’m expecting to hear a story about David Stern fathering a love child with a member of the Celtics Dancers. What, too improbable? I beg to differ. After what has happened to Tiger Woods during the past month there is absolutely nothing out of the realm of possibility anymore.
Want to see more of the Celtics Dancers? Your wish is my command…