Clinton Portis is hilarious. The NFL Network had a contest of sorts you can participate in where he will show up in costme at a press conference after a game this upcoming season. My vote would go to his UFC fighter Budd Foxx who is 0-17, weighs 220 and fights at 115. Special move? Cracking fingers. The guy’s neck is monstrous! Dr. Do Itch Big which apparently stands for Dr. Do It Big makes amazing custom grills like Marshawn Lynch’s Beast Mode (right) and claims he also made Strahan’s gap! This dude is nutty but we love it here at [...]

Look at Michael Strahan get down with Alicia Keys. I wonder if the gap is behind his vocal harmonics? Could be his secret. Hey, Madonna has a gap, too. Now that he’s not playing any longer he can bet on the Super Bowl, even though the NFL odds for the Giants won’t be as good without him in the fold.

“Don’t you go dyin’ on me now!”  That may be from Dumb and Dumber, but the same applies to the moniker “Pac-Man” that will be harder to shake than a case of the crabs from a stripper in Vegas. I took over here after a long hiatus during Pac-Man’s suspension.  I managed to visit his old haunts of “scrip” (strip) clubs, casinos and clubs around America…toured his now foreclosed house in suburban Nashville and when I got really bored, I broke out the Monopoly board and took all the play money out and made it rain on myself just for [...]

We got are noodles wet last night during that absolute demolition job Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts did to the New Orleans Saints lat night. And while it was great to finally usher in the NFL season, what the hell do they expect us to do until Sunday without any other games? Especially for us non-college football junkies? Fortunately, we’re not shit out of luck… Non-Football Shit to Do Until Sunday  DVD – Grindhouse Presents, Death Proof (Extended Cut) – Since this doesn’t come out for another week and a half, you’ll have to get resourceful and find it [...]

I’ve always had mixed emotions about longtime Kansas City Chiefs general manager Carl Peterson, aka King Carl. I must admit, however, that this is one of my all-time favorite King Carl moments. I’m not going to say that it’s difficult to make President Bush look stupid. What I will say is that Peterson certainly has a monster set of testicles on him. I guess when you deal with the Drew Ronsenhauses and Tom Condons of the world everyday, Dub-ya is no problem. From HBO’s Hard Knocks… On a more serious note, go here to buy the hat and support the [...]

Labor Day weekend has passed. All of the fantasy drafts are over, all the boats have docked, and, hopefully, everyone has made a safe return back to the real world. That being said, you are probably either severely depressed to be back at work or eagerly anticipating the NFL’s kickoff weekend (or both). Taking that into consideration, I think the Pacman Jonesin’ NFL preview might be exactly what you all need to get through this tough time. Reader beware: This NFL preview has Tourettes. I can and will say anything that pops into my head while discussing each team. C’mon, [...]

(listening pleasure: The Needle and the Damage Done – Neil Young) Are LaRon Landry and Sean Taylor the toughest safety tandem in the NFL? Two dismembered Kodiak bears certainly think so. – Kissing Suzy Kolber Herm Edwards plays to win the game, but even he gets the beans above the franks sometimes. “I did a TERRIBLE job!” – Arrowhead Addict Is it just me, or is Martin Rucker the fuckin’ man? – Ramblin’ Fan Roy Williams is straight pissed that the Dallas Cowboys brass decided to dump veteran cornerback Aaron Glenn. – Hashmarks Jeremiah Trotter and his trademark slowness are [...]

(listening pleasure: Timebomb – Beck) Pacman Jones TNA memorabilia is going fast… get it while you still can! Rep The Namesake! – Mondesi’s House The Baltimore Ravens have started flirting with Byron Leftwich a little. – Baltimore Sun Leftwich is also “euphoric” that Jack Del Rio Shooter McGavin handed him his walking papers. Is he euphoric about losing that cool$5.1 million, too? – Fanhouse Simeon Rice signs with the Denver Broncos. Is it just me, or does it seem like the Donks never run out of dough? – ESPN The Kingster loves the Arizona Cardinals latest addition — Quentin Moses. [...]