We couldn’t pass up posting this one…lol…enjoy the Fourth, Hancock style! Well, actually, no. Don’t pass out on some park bench.

(hat tip: Movie Moron)

Clinton Portis is hilarious. The NFL Network had a contest of sorts you can participate in where he will show up in costme at a press conference after a game this upcoming season.

My vote would go to his UFC fighter Budd Foxx who is 0-17, weighs 220 and fights at 115. Special move? Cracking fingers. The guy’s neck is monstrous!

Dr. Do Itch Big which apparently stands for Dr. Do It Big makes amazing custom grills like Marshawn Lynch’s Beast Mode (right) and claims he also made Strahan’s gap!

This dude is nutty but we love it here at PJ!

Look at Michael Strahan get down with Alicia Keys. I wonder if the gap is behind his vocal harmonics? Could be his secret. Hey, Madonna has a gap, too.

“Don’t you go dyin’ on me now!” 

That may be from Dumb and Dumber, but the same applies to the moniker “Pac-Man” that will be harder to shake than a case of the crabs from a stripper in Vegas.

I took over here after a long hiatus during Pac-Man’s suspension.  I managed to visit his old haunts of “scrip” (strip) clubs, casinos and clubs around America…toured his now foreclosed house in suburban Nashville and when I got really bored, I broke out the Monopoly board and took all the play money out and made it rain on myself just for old times sake.

Now that the new “Praying for Don Imus“, squeaky clean version of “don’t call me Pac-Man” Jones is back and ready to start camp for the Cowboys.  He claims its because there’s so much negativity behind it, he just wants to be Mr. Jones like the Counting Crows song goes…well, it ain’t “Mr. Jones and Me” around these parts you bastard.  We are gonna need to cue up Prince and Purple Rain for the “Cornerback formerly known as Pac-Man”.  You’re going to kill my site, don’t you understand how Google works Adam?!?  Go ahead and be Adam for a while, but you’ll always be Pac-Man here.

We got are noodles wet last night during that absolute demolition job Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts did to the New Orleans Saints lat night. And while it was great to finally usher in the NFL season, what the hell do they expect us to do until Sunday without any other games? Especially for us non-college football junkies? Fortunately, we’re not shit out of luck…

• Non-Football Shit to Do Until Sunday 

• DVD - Grindhouse Presents, Death Proof (Extended Cut) - Since this doesn’t come out for another week and a half, you’ll have to get resourceful and find it on the Net (I won’t tell you how, but trust me — it’s possible). Planet Terror sucked, so seeing a longer version of this film without having to endure the ho-hum P.T. first is definitely the way to go. Call me a fan boy, but Quentin Tarantino can truly do no wrong.

• In Theatres - 3:10 to Yuma - Now, Shoot ‘Em Up starring Clive Owen probably isn’t a terrible call, especialy if you’re looking for that last popcorn flick of the summer. I love Owen (Children of Men fucking rocked), Paul Giamatti can act his ass off and Monica Bellucci is just about the hottest thing alive. But we see dozens of movies like that every few years. How often do we see a critically praised (82% on Rotten Tomatoes) Western that pits two of today’s finest actors working – Christian Bale and Russell Crowe — up against one another? How about never. From what I’ve heard, Walk the Line director James Mangold knocks this one out of the park Rick Ankiel-on-HGH style.

• UFC - UFC 75: Champion vs. Champion: Dan Henderson vs. Quenton “Rampage” Jackson - This highly anticipated London bout is both free on Spike TV, and the first ever UFC unification title bout (both the PRIDE and UFC light heavyweight titles are on the line). Henderson took his title from Wanderlei Silva, Jackson from Chuck Liddell, and both fighters won by highlight-reel knockouts. I’d wish that I was extremely confident about my boy Rampage walking away the undisputed champ after dropping Big Dan, but it could go either way. You absolutely, positively, do not want to miss this card.

More football stuff coming later in the weekend, including the second half of my NFL preview, some fantasy stuff, etc…

I’ve always had mixed emotions about longtime Kansas City Chiefs general manager Carl Peterson, aka King Carl. I must admit, however, that this is one of my all-time favorite King Carl moments. I’m not going to say that it’s difficult to make President Bush look stupid. What I will say is that Peterson certainly has a monster set of testicles on him. I guess when you deal with the Drew Ronsenhauses and Tom Condons of the world everyday, Dub-ya is no problem. From HBO’s Hard Knocks…

On a more serious note, go here to buy the hat and support the Greensburg, KS tornado victims and the Greensburg Rangers football team.

(Footage courtesy of HBO/NFL Films)