Since I haven’t had the time/idea to put my thoughts about the game into some big organized column with cool ending and a great headline, here’s just the random thoughts.
- Can’t we all agree that the person or people who choose the Super Bowl halftime show are worse at their jobs than anyone else? I mean really, the freaking Black Eyed Peas? I can’t name one of their songs besides the one where Fergie pees herself.
- Whichever team wins the cointoss should defer to the second half. That ”score before the half ends, score coming out of the 3rd” sequence could be huge.
- Besides the QB’s playing well, the biggest match-up in this game is Matthews-Zombo(or Walden) vs. the Steelers OT’s, and Harrison-Woodley vs. Clifton-Bulaga.
-If you can wager on Aaron Rodgers leading the Packers in rushing today, do it now.
- We really need to have a national conversation about how bag the Go Daddy commercials are. They are the Manswers of all commercials. ”WOAH GUYS! BOOBS! WHERE ELSE COULD I EVER FIND THOSE!”
- Despite being a massive Ravens homer and Steeler hater, I’m just hoping for a great game. To me a 10-3 Packers win would be worse than a 49-42 Steelers win. That said, I think this Steeler D is built to beat above-average-awful QB’s 90% of the time. Think about it, you can’t run on them, their pass rush will get to you if you hold the ball for too long, and they have the hair to pick-off any bad throws. This works great against everyone from Joe Flacco down to Jake Delhomme. The problem comes when they face a QB who doesn’t need a running game, doesn’t let the rush affect him, and gets the ball out quick. That’s why Tom Brady owns them, and I think today Rodgers does a reasonable Brady impression. 38-31 Packers win.
Look, I hate the Steelers more than it is healthy for one man to hate anything. If their team plane had gone down on the way to Texas, I would’ve been the 1st one on Twitter with a ”Geez, this team really is imploding” comment. I have friends who are Steeler fans that I haven’t spoken to since Week 17, because at the very mention of Pittsburgh, I will want choke them with one of their five terrible towels they are required to own. But even I have to admit, the Roethlisberger rape jokes have gotten ridiculously old and stupid. Let’s examine a few of these beaten into the ground, funny-four-months ago insults to trash talking.
Example 1- The Name Game
Rapistburger
Rape Rapelisberger
Ben Rapist
Rapey McRapist
Yes, the ”berger” is misspelled 100% of the time. OOO LOOK GUYS! HIS NAME AND RAPE BOTH START WITH R. Its not hard to work scandalous things into a name. For instance- ”Tom Bastardchild” or ”Choketon Manning” or ”RapeT” or ”Dante Manslaughtersworth” It’s not hard.
Example 2: Hey that guys good, let’s point out he’s been accused of rape.
Boy, Bens really raping (insert opposing team here)
Bens doing all this with out any protection
Look at Roethlisberger, forcing things again
Hardy-har-har. Congrats on attempting to demean his ability as a QB. Whats next there, future Bill Hicks? McNabb just canned this game! Brees has been spotty today! ”Vick’s just dogging this team!”
Example 3- The Bar Joke
Ben Roethlisberger Walks into a bar and sits down next to a guy.
Ben: Ya know, I could have sex with any woman in here.
Guy: Oh yeah? Why? Because you are Big Big the big tough famous football star?
Ben: No, Because I am a rapist.
OOO nice punchline brah! Do you write for George Lopez?
Example 4- The Poop Joke Leno-esque Punchline Bukkake
Q: Why did the Stoolers draft a center in the first round?
A: Because Ben can ass grab without getting arrested!
Ooo I see what you did there. ”Stoolers”…like poop. Really? Oh and you made a joke about the QB needing to touch the Centers ass. Very original. No one has ever thought of that……except for EVERYONE WHOSE EVER PLAYED FOOTBALL.
But really, we as fans got the next best thing we could get to our team being in the Super Bowl- an evenly matched game. What ever happened in a bar bathroom last summer happened, he either did nothing and missed four games for being a drunken idiot, or got away with it. You wanna make fun of the Steelers and their incredibly obnoxious fan base? Go after the towel, the city of Pittsburgh,the bandwagon fan base, the wagon-sized women of the fan base, the fact that they’re starting a Marshall alum in the Super bowl, or Hines Ward: Smiley cheap shot artist. But going after a guy who could win his 3rd Super Bowl on Sunday just makes you look stupid and bitter. Leave the Big Ben rape jokes to the 14 idiots(Redskin fans) on your Facebook feed, atleast until he gets caught again this summer.
According to SI’s Don Banks, the Tennessee Titans will fire their Head Coach of 16 seasons, Jeff Fisher. The move comes as a surprise, since it appeared Fisher had won the power struggle with embattled QB Vince Young, and because the firing is taking place so late into the off-season. As for who replaces Fisher, the list of available guys has dwindled, with Josh McDaniels taking the OC job in St.Louis and Rob Ryan taking the DC job in Dallas, but barring a trip down retread(Gregg Williams) lane, a few guys to keep an eye on would be Jets DC Mike Pettine, Giants DC Perry Fewell, Falcons DC Brian VanGorder, Jags OC Dirk Koetter, and Cardinals OC/O-Line coach, Russ Grimm.
Jay Cutler might be a pussy. He might have a torn MCL. We don’t know yet. But just by looking at him on the sideline yesterday, seeing his body language, seeing him just…sulk, it’s become pretty clear….Jay Cutler will never win a Super Bowl. He just doesn’t have it. Whatever the it is, the thing that every winning QB from Bart Starr to Terry Bradshaw to Elway to Favre to Brady to Roethlisberger….he doesn’t have it. You can talk about the arm, how pretty his passes are, but if you switched him and Roethlisberger, does Cutler make that 3rd down throw? Do we see Ben on the sidelines, mopey look on his face? I’m willing to bet we don’t . Yesterday in Chicago and Pittsburgh we saw the QB position in a nutshell. 3 of the 4 QB’s have it. Big Ben has 2 rings, might get a 3rd this year, if Rodgers doesn’t take it from him. Sanchez, holy crap, his NFL balls officially dropped in the 2nd half. He’ll get his ring at some point. Cutler on the other hand, jesus….I would’ve thought he’d been benched by the way he was acting. It looks like Josh McDaniels was right when he got the best offer he could for him. We’ll hear more about this come draft time. Ryan Mallett, one of the top QB’s, is similarly blessed with a huge arm and cursed with a ”Yeah, whatever” attitude. Hopefully he gets it before, like Cutler- he’s left on the sideline, watching and sulking.
Mock Drafts are awesome, and mock drafts for football are beyond the best and least predictable. No draft will be less predictable than 2011, with the lock out looming, the presumptive #1 pick staying in school, and a influx of new coaches, shit will get crazy. So, every so often, we’re gonna mock out the 1st 32 picks.
Pre- free agency, pre-trade season, pre-Super Bowl, as the title says- we ain’t gotta clue. But(!) that doesn’t mean we can’t give it the old (JR.) college try. Enjoy!
1- Carolina Panthers: DaQuan Bowers DE, Clemson
2- Denver Broncos: Nick Fairley DT, Auburn
3- Buffalo Bills: A.J. Green WR, Georgia
4- Cincinnati Bengals: Robert Quinn DE/OLB, UNC
5- Arizona Cardinals: Blaine Gabbert QB, Missouri
6- Cleveland Browns: Cameron Heyward DE, OSU
7- San Francisco 49er’s: Cam Newton QB, Auburn
8- Tennessee Titans: Patrick Peterson CB, LSU
9- Dallas Cowboys: Gabe Carimi OT, Wisconsin
10- Washington Redskins: Jake Locker QB, Washington
11- Houston Texans: Prince Amukamara CB, Nebraska
12- Minnesota Vikings: Ryan Mallet QB, Arkansas
13- Detroit Lions: J.J. Watt DE, Wisconsin
14- St. Louis Rams: Julio Jones WR, Alabama
15- Miami Dolphins: Mark Ingram RB, Alabama
16- Jacksonville Jaguars: Ras-I Dowling CB, Virginia
17- New England Patriots: Marcell Dareus DE, Alabama
18- San Diego Chargers: Nate Solder OT, Colorado
19- New York Giants: Rahim Moore S, UCLA
20- Tampa Bay Bucs: Cameron Jordan DE, Cal
21- KC Chiefs: Von Miller OLB, Texas A & M
22- Indianapolis Colts: Bruce Carter OLB, UNC
23- Philadelphia Eagles: Ben Ijalana OT, Villanova
24- New Orleans Saints: Brandon Harris CB, Miami
25- Chicago Bears: Anthony Castonzo OT, BC
26- Pittsburgh Steelers: Mike Pouncey OG, Florida
27- Atlanta Falcons: Torrey Smith WR, Maryland
28- New England Patriots: Adrian Clayborn DE, Iowa
Multiple sources(here,here,and here) are reporting that Rich Rodriguez has been FIRED as Michigans Head Coach. We said our big piece on the matter early this morning, but lemme just say this: When you fuck over your entire football team, coaching staff, employer, and an entire state and fanbase by throwing a game as egregiously as he threw the Pitt game that year, you deserve what you’ve gotten. The verbal abuse from an entire state, not getting Pryor, all the beatings, the practice time scandal, the Josh Groban thing, the worst bowl beat down in Michigan history, and now-public firing. Thanks Rich, you gave WVU fans one more January highlight.
