Labor Day weekend has passed. All of the fantasy drafts are over, all the boats have docked, and, hopefully, everyone has made a safe return back to the real world. That being said, you are probably either severely depressed to be back at work or eagerly anticipating the NFL’s kickoff weekend (or both). Taking that into consideration, I think the Pacman Jonesin’ NFL preview might be exactly what you all need to get through this tough time. Reader beware: This NFL preview has Tourettes. I can and will say anything that pops into my head while discussing each team. C’mon, don’t tell me you’ve never wanted to act like this…

• NFL Preview With Tourettes Part I
  

• Arizona Cardinals - It’s ironic that the Cards play in the desert, because they’re the most snake-bitten team in the NFL. I would feel bad for Whizzincunt’s new team, but for as cool as Matt Leinart thinks he is, he’s a real fucking loser. A loser who has a lot more money STDs than me (I have none, for the record). Don’t bet on this squad and only rely on Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald fantasy football wise. 2008 Prediction: About 7-9

• Atlanta Falcons - They’ll be under dogs all season long. Sorry. Couldn’t help it. I told you about my condition. Anyway, Joey Harrington might not be as exciting as Ookie, but he’s a nice guy who doesn’t misbehave off the field, have Leinart Syndrome or sneak contraband through airports. Alge Crumpler is the only guy you really want on your fantasy team, unless you want to take a flier on Joe Horn late. 2008 Prediction: About 6-10

• Baltimore Ravens - Big deal — they dumped one scumbag for another. If Willis McGahee scores more rushing touchdowns in ‘07 than he has illegitimate kids, I’ll be shocked. Still, the Ravens have a dominant defense and one of the better coaches in the league in Brian Billeck. Plus, Steve McNair knows how to get it done. Never put anything past a man who can get arrested fro DUI from the passenger seat. 2008 Prediction: About 11-5

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(listening pleasure: The Needle and the Damage Done - Neil Young)

• Are LaRon Landry and Sean Taylor the toughest safety tandem in the NFL? Two dismembered Kodiak bears certainly think so. - Kissing Suzy Kolber

• Herm Edwards plays to win the game, but even he gets the beans above the franks sometimes. “I did a TERRIBLE job!” - Arrowhead Addict

• Is it just me, or is Martin Rucker the fuckin’ man? - Ramblin’ Fan

• Roy Williams is straight pissed that the Dallas Cowboys brass decided to dump veteran cornerback Aaron Glenn. - Hashmarks

• Jeremiah Trotter and his trademark slowness are now property of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. - First and 10 Inches via MDS

• There’s a magazine packed to the brim with NFL cheerleaders? And I’m just now finding out? Does it come with stick-resistant pages? - Epic Carnival

• CBS’ Clark Judge whips out an article about Ocho Cinco that includes the phrase “sexy back.” Just admit it, Clark, you tuned into the J.T. concert last night on HBO. - CBS Sportsline via Cincy Jungle

• The Miami Dolphins are getting ready to hit some ‘Skins this weekend. Hey, aren’t we all? - Phin Phanatic

• Just a hilarious take on Dunta Robinson’s home getting robbed. Dude even gets burned by robbers. - Battle Red Blog

• Taking a look at the newest Denver Bronco — Chucky hater Simeon Rice. - Mile High Report

(listening pleasure: Timebomb - Beck)

• Pacman Jones TNA memorabilia is going fast… get it while you still can! Rep The Namesake! - Mondesi’s House

• The Baltimore Ravens have started flirting with Byron Leftwich a little. - Baltimore Sun

• Leftwich is also “euphoric” that Jack Del Rio Shooter McGavin handed him his walking papers. Is he euphoric about losing that cool$5.1 million, too? - Fanhouse

• Simeon Rice signs with the Denver Broncos. Is it just me, or does it seem like the Donks never run out of dough? - ESPN

• The Kingster loves the Arizona Cardinals latest addition — Quentin Moses. - Raising Zona via Peter King/SI.com

• Yahoo! totally blew it on this Ladell Betts story. Washington Redskins fans probably shit themselves for a second. - Hogs Haven

• Bill Belichick and Brad Childress go at it Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots style. - The Viking Age

• The New England Patriots handed Reche Caldwell his pink slip. He’ll land on his feet quickly. - Pats Pulpit

• Bristol’s NFL wizard John Clayton has a worthwhile new article on happenings around the league. - John Clayton/ESPN

• The St. Louis Rams signed Antonio Pittman. I can’t believe the Saints cut him, even with theirdepth at the position. - Turf Show Times

(listening pleasure: Good Life - Kanye West)

• So Captain Outspoken himself Rodney Harrison (is it just me, or doesn’t he always talk smack on controversial players like T.O.) has been suspended for four games for using Human Growth Hormone. Busted. I love it! - Reiss’ Pieces

• While we’re on the topic of making fun of people who use performance enhancing drugs (this time it’s Shawne Merriman), Vernon Davis is my new personal fucking hero. - More Credible

• Michael Strahan — we call him Ol’ Gap Tooth ’round here — is back. Now, let me guess, is it for the money or to climb further up the all-time sack leaders list. - Big Blue View

• Terrell Owens just doesn’t get it, does he? How many QBs can one guy throw under the bus. - Larry Brown Sports

I’m almost ashamed for using this low-brow comedy as the basis of this week’s Friday Flicks post, but Balls of Fury is the biggest release of the week. What’s a brother to do?

As for the film, don’t go see it. Please! Just because Christopher Walken stars in it, that doesn’t mean anything. That guy is a role whore. His acting addiction rivals Courtney Love’s drug habit — he’ll take any part in any film to stay working. If you need more convincing, Rotten Tomatoes has the film rated as a 27% on its “Critics Tomatometer”. For all of you R.T. rooks, that’s somewhere in between The Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and Daddy Day Camp. Not good.

Enough about the film already — let’s get to it.

Which current NFL starting quarterback has the strongest arm out there?

This wasn’t an easy one, so, even though I had pretty strong opinions of my own already, I surfed the Web and looked for answers.

There seemed to be a consensus on which former NFL gunslingers had the strongest weapons: Bert Jones, Doug Williams, Drew Bledsoe, Jeff George, John Elway, Randall Cunningham, Terry Bradshaw, Vinnie Testerverde, etc.

There were even quite a few back-ups and out-of-the-league QBs who I saw mentioned repeatedly, i.e. former New England Patriots hailmary specialist Michael Bishop.

Things weren’t as cut and dry with today’s rocket-armed quarterbacks, though. Especially now that Michael Vick is about to start slinging the pigskin for the Virginia Penal League. Here’s my top five:

• The Top Five Strongest Arms in the NFL

• JaMarcus Russell -The only thing I haven’t heard about Russell’s throwing power is that he can hit the moon with his non-throwing arm. He’s a genetic freak of a quarterback. And, yes, he is for all intents and purposes the Oakland Raiders starting QB. Daush McCulpepper is just a temporary quick fix, and maybe even a negotiating ploy by Al Davis to lowball J-Russ contract wise.

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It’s official! Kurt Angle and his new tag team partner Sting will defend the TNA tag team straps against Team Pacman — Pacman Jones and Ron “The Truth Killings — at the September 9 No Surrender PPV! Here’s a clip from tonight’s iMPACT! show…

I have no idea how Pacman can wrestle in a match of this magnitude with his court-ordered no-contact stipulation, but TNA has done an outstanding job of getting creative with The Namesake so far. The other big news is that Pacman will be back fo’ mo’ after the PPV! The new trailer for the October 14 Bound For Glory PPV features both Pac and his entrance music. Can’t we get that stupid fucking stipulation lifted? Please? Let the man wrestle! Damn, I can’t stand Roger Goodell and the Tennessee Titans right about now. The trailer: